Their shared suffering - ELU

Burden

"Too many scars in my head, I'm in shock again
Texting: "What are you doing?"
You ignored me, I'm lost
Downing the Morio, smoking a Marlboro Gold
Yeah, I'm still lost
Yeah, I'm still lost
I would never miss you, panic, too much caffeine
Are you sleeping with someone else? Have too many thoughts
I can't work, I think of you the most
Too much monster, too much weed
If I come, stay in love

I would like it if you'd think of me
But when I call you don't want to talk
And my heart already knows the message
But my head never wants to end it

You break up why are you crying?
You break up why are you crying?
You break up why are you crying?
You break up why are you crying?"

Eliott woke up the next morning with tears in his eyes.
He hadn't dreamed of anything scary or concerning, yet he'd been crying in his sleep.
Lucas had already gone to the bathroom, therefore Eliott decided to get up and get ready for the day.

While putting his clothes on, a black hoodie with a raccoon print on it and a pair of jeans, he felt as if his body consisted of lead.
He quietly cursed himself for changing his lecture schedule, because he had to get up every day for Uni now. It meant that he had fewer lectures in a day now, but getting up, especially when he was depressed, was quite a challenge.
He felt as if gravity was trying to staple him to the ground, forbidding him to ever get up again.
Something wet slid down his cheeks, he'd started crying now, too.
Frustrated, Eliott sank back down on the bed, sighing heavily.

Lucas walked out of the bathroom, not fully dressed. He fetched his favorite hoodie, the one with the Romance print on it, from the closet and put it on.
Raking a hand through his hair, he sat down in front of his boyfriend, putting his hands on Eliott's thighs.

"I'm exhausted, Lucas", Eliott muttered before Lucas could even ask him what was going on.
"I can't do this anymore, this getting up and getting shit done. It's so tiring and I want it to stop so badly", Eliott lamented, burying his face in his hands, letting the tears flow.
Lucas got up, sat down next to Eliott, and pulled him into a hug, gently rubbing his hands over his boyfriend's back.
"Shh, hey", he tried to soothe him, "Shh, everything's going to be okay. Look, for the next minute, it's just us two, just you and me. How about we lay down and we kiss, how's that sound? Kissing for a minute, we don't need to worry about the next one."

Eliott tried to ease up into Lucas' touch, but somehow, he was only beginning to cry harder.
His chest vibrated heavily, everything inside of him felt as if it was going to burst into flames any minute.
"Oh, baby, my love", Lucas whispered, holding Eliott's head to his chest with his hand, cradling him.

"I wish I could ease all your horrors, I wish I could make them go away", Lucas continued to whisper, massaging Eliott's scalp with his fingers, "But unfortunately, I can't and it's killing me. I love you, Eliott, baby. Je t'aime, okay? I'll never stop loving you, not even for a nanosecond, you hear me?"
And with that, he leaned down so that he was on eye level with Eliott, connecting their lips.

It was a collision of a thousand emotions.
Eliott's tears slightly overpowered the sweet taste of his lips, sticking to Lucas' lips like venom.
But maybe it was that venom that kept them going. The fear of being swallowed up by it, only keeping it away by the sheer force of their love.
Lucas knew deep down that he wanted nothing more than to die with Eliott, to grow old with him.
He was sure of it, afraid of what other versions of himself had to go through in a different universe.