Their shared suffering - ELU

To me

"When will you come to me again?
I think that you're ignoring our love.
You're gone and I'll lie in bed again until 4.
Numbing the feelings so as not to lose myself."

Eliott was back at home again.
His boyfriend would come home on Sunday, and today was Friday.
He'd called him every night before going to bed and every day after returning from either work or Uni.
Now he was at home, earlier than usual because he wasn't feeling too well.

Despite going to Uni, calling Lucas every day, and taking care of their apartment, he felt like the worst boyfriend nonetheless.
He felt as if he had left Lucas all alone in his suffering, too caught up in his own.
Rationally, he knew that that was the farthest from the truth, but still.
In his head, he still thought that he'd left Lucas to die alone, in terms of mental health.

No matter how hard he tried to think about something else, no matter what he tried to distract himself with, his thoughts wouldn't stop racing.
Luckily he'd already gone to work because he couldn't have mustered up the necessary mental strength to handle another day of work. He couldn't have focused on getting the requests for various movies right anyway.

Lying in his bed, Eliott pulled up the hood of his Bordeaux red hoodie, in an attempt to hide away from the world.
After a few minutes, he checked if he'd gotten any new messages on his phone.

One (1) new message from 'Basile'
One (1) new message from 'Mon Amour'

Eliott decided to read Basile's message first, then he'd have more time to read Lucas' and call him later.
"Salut Eliott! Hope you're doing well! The boys and I would love to hang out with you on the weekend, only if you feel like it though! Bisous!" - short and sweet - just like Basile was.
Eliott quickly responded that he'd come around with Lucas on Sunday because he'd be back home by then.

Lucas' message was short either.
"Can't wait to call you later. I miss you so so so so much, mon amour <3 <3 <3", delightful precious Lucas, he always knew what to say.
Eliott sent him a heart back, locking his phone again and turning to the side.
How much he missed having his boyfriend here with him, cuddled up in bed, and exchanging soft kisses.
How much he missed having dinner with him, despite seeing Lucas eat less and less every time.

The ringtone of Eliott's phone interrupted his racing thoughts and he quickly picked it up to look at the screen.
He answered the call, the corners of his mouth turned upwards.
"Salut, Eli! How was your day? I miss you!", Lucas exclaimed, the enthusiasm in his voice startled Eliott a bit.
"Salut, I miss you, too, my love", Eliott said.

"How was your day?", Lucas asked again.
"It was okay, but I'm not feeling too well", Eliott retorted, letting out a shaky sigh.
Lucas frowned. "Awh, je suis désolé."
"You don't have to be sorry, love. I didn't mean to turn this into a sad direction", Eliott hastily apologized, nervously chewing on the tip of his thumb.
He put the phone down on the mattress, pushing up the duvet so that it was just under the speaker and not covering it, smoothing out the creases in the duvet with his left hand.
Now it at least felt like Lucas was laying right beside him.

"No, you didn't, don't be sorry. Honestly, don't be", Lucas said, sitting up properly in his bed. "Damn, it's just- I just miss you so so much, I can't wait to hold you in my arms again and give you back hugs."
The corners of Eliott's mouth turned upwards again, even a slight chuckle could be heard in the back of his throat.
"I miss you, too. As soon as you're back, we'll eat Spaghetti with green pesto together, I'll try not to burn down the kitchen, je promets", Eliott said, shifting his current seated position, moving a tad bit more upward.
Lucas let out a small sigh of which he hoped his boyfriend hadn't picked up on.