Their shared suffering - ELU

Fear

"Let me go
Delete the photos from your phone
Believe me, it's better this way
Please let me go
I can try to explain
But leave her when she sleeps

Everything is okay
Lost a bit but stayed on my lane
Work around the clock and I suppress all the pain
Please tell me where I am, I can't see it anymore
We don't have anything to tell each other
We haven't seen each other in a long time
But please let me go."

During the night, Lucas hadn't gotten that much sleep.
He'd been tossing and turning, thinking about a million things at once.
Now it was 6 in the morning and he had gotten the tiniest amount of sleep, 2 hours.

When his alarm woke him up, it was almost 7 and he had to get up.
Groaning, he went to the bathroom to take a quick shower and brush his teeth.
He could feel himself slipping again, thinking about whether to eat or not to eat anything at all way too much and taking his workout routine to the next level.
During the time he was in the shower, he did a few squats while trying not to slip and die on the wet floor.

Blow-drying his hair, brushing his teeth, and putting on clothes all in one go was hard, but he managed to get it done nonetheless.
Eliott was already done with his morning routine, mostly because he didn't have as many steps in his morning routine as Lucas did.
He stuck his head through the bathroom door that Lucas had left ajar.
"I'll head over to the bakery to get us some fresh bagels." And with that, he left the apartment.

As Lucas was packing up some things for school, Eliott returned, a bag of fresh bagels in his hand.
He set it down on the dinner table. Lucas swung his backpack over his shoulder as he scrolled through his phone.
"I'm sorry, mon lapin, I have to go to school. But I'll grab a bagel and eat it on the way", Lucas said.
Eliott let out a disappointed sigh, taking out one bagel and handing it to Lucas. "Fine", he sighed, "But I miss having breakfast with you. We only ever have dinner these days."
That had been chewing on Lucas for quite a while now and he mentally winced.

"I promise, we'll have breakfast next weekend. No, this weekend, alright? I'll even do the dishes", he offered with a small smile and Eliott's genuine smile almost made him cry. Sweet, caring, loving, and innocent Eliott couldn't possibly know about his struggles, about his invisible suffering. Sure, he had struggles of his own and suffered from a mental illness, but he had no idea about the chaos in Lucas' head. About the way, his mind tormented him, punished him for even thinking about eating, and rewarding him when he decided against eating anything at all.

"Alright, mon lapinou, you are forgiven", Eliott said and Lucas smiled, a bit wider this time. Being called 'bunny' by Eliott and getting to call him 'rabbit' in return warmed his heart and it was the highlight of his day.
It even made him forget about the bagel with avocado, scrambled eggs, bacon, and tomatoes in his hand.

At school, he met outside the school with the rest of the boys.
Arthur and Basile came running again, luckily they didn't knock anything or anyone down this time.
"Look at that! Our two stragglers are finally here, what a surprise!", Lucas exclaimed in mock-excitement, patting Basile's head as if he were a dog.
"God, stop it! As if you're never late, you big bully!", Basile bellowed, swatting Lucas' hand away.
"At least I didn't make a habit out of it unlike certain other people", Lucas countered, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"But I don't want to be a big bully here, guys. I actually have a reward for you. You have to split it evenly, though", Lucas said as he opened his backpack.
"Here", he said, dangling the bagel in front of Basile and Arthur, "There you go."