Their shared suffering - ELU

Blinding pain

"Everyone knows the pain you feel when nothing is right anymore.
I never lose this overview, yeah yeah.
But it goes on, on and on, yeah.

Everyone knows the pain you feel when nothing is right anymore.
I never lose this overview, yeah yeah.
But it goes on, on and on, yeah."

A week later

Lucas had done it, he'd booked himself his first therapy session.
Eliott had advised him to check if he and his therapist would get along first before booking even more sessions, but Lucas was certain that his therapist could really help him with getting to the roots of his problems.

Eliott was feeling a bit better again, and he had switched to a different medication.
It didn't make him feel robotic anymore, which was a plus in his book. He still didn't feel like himself when he took it, but at least he felt in charge of his thoughts.

A few droplets of sweat were running down on Lucas' back as he climbed up higher, the muscles in his arms and back contracting beautifully under his skin. Eliott watched Lucas' every move, how his fingers gripped the climbing holds, how graceful and almost effortlessly he went up higher and higher. And Eliott was enjoying the view he had from climbing next to Lucas, of course.
As they reached the top of the wall, they took a short break to look down.
"Damn, we're really high up here", Lucas noticed and Eliott suddenly got aware of his fear of heights.
"Hm, we really are", he responded, swallowing down the lump that had formed in his throat.
Lucas noticed that Eliott wasn't comfortable, and he suggested that they'd climb back down.

"Lucas?", Eliott asked as Lucas rearranged some of the carabiners. "Yeah?"
"You look damn hot while bouldering. The way your muscles contract under your skin, whew", Eliott said, smirking at Lucas as he put a loose strand of hair behind his ear. He needed a haircut soon.
"Heh, merci. You're looking not too bad yourself. If we weren't in public, and so far off the ground, I'd definitely eat you up right here right now", Lucas said, leaning in a bit so that only Eliott could hear, despite them being so far off the ground.

Eliott got back down faster than Lucas did, which gave him the chance of admiring his boyfriend and his lean body yet again.
Despite going to therapy sessions now, Lucas still had a tough time with eating regularly, which lead his body to look extremely thin.
Not completely emaciated or anything, but it was too close to crossing that border.
Lucas's feet hit the ground, the clicking of the carabiners pulling Eliott out of his thoughts.
"That was fun! I definitely want to go bouldering with you again!", Lucas exclaimed, his arms winding around Eliott's waist.
"Ouaip, that was fun", Eliott agreed, hugging Lucas back.
They made their way to change back into their regular clothes, it was way too cold for them to keep their shorts and tank tops on.

On their way back home, Eliott desperately wanted to ask Lucas a question. And since he'd learned that his boyfriend wouldn't judge him for anything, he went straight ahead with asking.
"Lucas, this, um, this date wasn't about burning calories or compensating for anything for you, was it?", he asked, waiting anxiously for Lucas to respond.
Lucas swayed his head a bit, looking down at his feet. "Bah non, I enjoyed spending time with you and seeing what our bodies can do. It was solely about the enjoyment for me", Lucas reassured him, and Eliott nodded slowly.
He'd learned in the two therapy sessions that they had together, that he had to trust Lucas and that not everything was about his illness.
"For me, too. I enjoyed spending time with you, especially after everything was getting busier and busier", Eliott said with a smile and Lucas smiled back.
They were almost at their apartment, the familiar street with its apartment buildings, fences, and high hedges coming into view.
"Now, what was that about you wanting to eat me again?", Eliott asked and Lucas didn't even need to look at him to know that he was smirking.