Tear Myself Apart // Billie Eilish

Chapter 19

CAMILLA'S P.O.V

I threw my suitcase on my bed and picked up my phone, calling Jackson. "Hey," she said, her tone questioning.

"Hey. Diner. By my house. I'm paying. Pick me up. Cool?"

She laughed. "Yeah. I'm on my way."

"Okay." I ended the call and walked outside. It didn't take long for her nice ass car to pull up. I got in and buckled up.

"Well... you sure weren't gone long."

"Nope."

"Wanna talk about it?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

"Okay." She started driving and turned the musical up a little. After a few minutes, she pulled into the parking lot and we both got out of the car. She opened the door for me and I walked in, sitting down at a random booth. "So..." She sat down across from me. "Is there a dude back in California—or a girl? I don't know. You've never really said anything about your sexuality."

"Shut up." I shook my head, laughing. "You do know but, uh... no, she's not really... not anymore."

She pursed her lips. "Well, I'm gonna do you a massive favor and order for you because I know what's gonna make you feel better. It always works for me."

"Okay. What is it?"

"None of your business." She stood up and walked away. I watched as she talked to a waitress for a minute before coming back and sitting down beside me instead of across from me. "So, in your hoe rankings, where do I stand?"

"What? My hoe rankings?"

"Yeah. Like, am I your top hoe? Maybe third? Or am I at the bottom?"

"I don't have a hoe ranking but you'd definitely be way at the bottom."

She gasped, holding her hand over her chest as if she was offended. "Well, I'm just astounded by your cruelty. I did nothing to deserve such vile acts of hate against me."

She was very dramatic. Callie would like her.

I shook my head. "Go back over there. Who said I want you right next to me?"

"Nobody."

"Exactly." I laughed.

"What if I want you right next to me?" She returned to her spot across from me.

I shrugged and then crossed my arms, setting them on the table. "Sucks to suck."

"Oh my God. Look at your hands. They're so small."

"Stop." I pulled my hands off the table.

"Wait." She held her hand up. "I wanna see how much smaller yours is than mine." I put my hand on hers and she laughed. "Aw. It's so small."

"Shut up. I hate you."

"That's a little rude."

-

"So, was it the plan to be back today," she asked as she unlocked the door to her apartment.

"No."

"And you called me? Why? Don't get me wrong, I like hanging out with you. I just didn't expect you to want to hang out with me." She pushed the door open and turned the light on.

"You want me to be honest with you?"

She nodded.

"I just really need a distraction and you're good at that, and that sounds terrible but it's the truth."

"A distraction?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah."

"I can do that." She backed me into the wall and put her hands on my cheeks, kissing me. I hesitated for a minute before kissing her back. She grabbed my hand and drug me into a bedroom, shutting the door with her foot and then pushing me onto the bed. "This what you wanted?" She smirked.

I swallowed and then nodded.

-

I sighed as I stared at the wall, Jackson running her fingers through my hair. "Wanna stay the night?" she asked, kissing my head.

I nodded, my stomach flipping at the small gesture.

"Okay. Are you hungry?"

"Not really." I laid my head on her chest and closed my eyes. I was tired.

Of everything.