Tear Myself Apart // Billie Eilish

Chapter 26

BILLIE'S P.O.V

"What's going on in here," I asked as I obnoxiously sat in between Finneas and Claudia.

"Wowww. And she shows her face for the first time in four days. Who were you talking to?" Finneas nudged me with his elbow.

"None of your business."

"Camilla?" Claudia raised her eyebrows.

"I said it's none of your business."

"Camilla," Finneas questioned, clearly surprised. "What's going on there?"

"Shut up! It's none of your business!"

"Billie," Mom yelled from the kitchen. "What did I say about your random emotional outbursts? You need to control yourself."

"Sorry," I mumbled with a sigh.

"Yeah. Control your emotional outbursts, William." Claudia laughed and I hit her in the back of the head.

"I like ya cut, G."

"I hate it here." I shook my head and stood up. "You guys are like old people that think they're cool. Oh my God. You guys are old people that think they're cool."

-

I sighed as I twisted the promise ring around in my hand. She gave it back and told me to unblock her when I got my shit together basically. But I didn't understand. She wanted me to unblock her for what? Not to talk obviously because she still hadn't said shit regarding our relationship. It was pissing me off but I couldn't actually be mad because I wasn't saying anything either. I didn't wanna embarrass myself. Maybe she didn't either. Or maybe she didn't want a relationship.

Maybe I should just die.

That would've worked. I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. But I couldn't do that. There were too many things that I had to live for even if I didn't wanna live for them.

Things would be better when she was back.

I hoped.

"Billie, come eat dinner," Mom said, knocking on my door.

"Okay." Everything was just the same every day. I hardly did anything at all anymore. I didn't really do anything when Camilla was here either, but I had somebody to talk to. That was what I did. I talked to her. And I kissed her. And I hugged her. And I spent every hour of every one of my free days with her.

And I was okay with that. That's what I wanted to do. That's what I still wanted to do. But instead, every day it was interviews or discussing my next tour or stupid legal shit that I've been dealing with because of Erika. I was tired of it. Sometimes I just wanted to run away. I was kind of excited about the thought of tour though. It'd been a while since I'd been on tour and it was exhilarating to think about, but it was ten times more exhilarating when I imagined Camilla coming with me.

I couldn't wait for her to be back.