Tear Myself Apart // Billie Eilish

Chapter 25

CAMILLA'S P.O.V

"I will beat both of your asses and that is a promise—" I pulled my phone out of my pocket as it started ringing. "This conversation is not over." I looked between Callie and Aracely and then answered my phone, walking out of the room. I moved it away from my ear and looked at the caller ID. It was Billie. "Hello?"

"Hey."

"What's going on?"

"Erika got arrested," she said.

"Really? What'd they get her for?"

"First-degree murder and—"

"Hold on," I interrupted her, holding out my free hand, although she couldn't see it. "How the hell did they get her for first-degree murder?"

"It was a very planned out thing. She held them hostage in her basement and then shot them right in the head."

"That was fast."

"She confessed. She told them in full detail exactly what she did."

I shook my head. "Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe she already knew that she was gonna get caught. I really couldn't tell you. They might've cut her a deal. I'm just glad it's over."

"Yeah. Me too. I can't believe you've been hanging out with a damn murderer for seven months."

"Well, it was for you. Of course, I hung out with her for seven months. I'd do anything for you." She laughed and I pursed my lips. I wished she would just say something already. I wished she'd just tell me that she wanted to get back together. I would literally fly out there right now if it meant we could go back to normal. I missed her. I missed her affection. I missed just being with her.

Jackson was nothing like her. Not at all. Jackson liked to invite me over so that we could have sex or make out. Billie used to invite me over to take naps with her. Jackson could possibly tell somebody what my favorite color is and where I live. But Billie could tell somebody anything they wanted to know about me. She probably knew more about me than I did myself. She knew about anything and everything I'd been through. She knew that I had a weird obsession with lighthouses. She knew that I was extremely sensitive and I overthought every remark, so she was always very careful about what she said to me and how she said it. Jackson didn't do that. I wished she did. I missed the pet names Billie called me by. Billie was just a generally affectionate person and I loved it because I was too. Jackson definitely wasn't. I would be surprised if I ever found her in a stable relationship. That was why she was just a distraction. And I didn't feel bad about it because that's what I was to her as well.

"Camilla," Billie said quietly. "I'm sorry. I didn't—I wasn't trying to... I'm sorry."

"No. I was just thinking. You're good. I really appreciate it, Billie. A lot. But I would've never asked you to do that. Even if she wasn't a damn murderer. You didn't deserve to be treated like that."

"I know. That's why I didn't talk to you about it."

"Always so ignorant, Eilish." I shook my head. "I have to go. Call me if you need anything else... or if you just wanna talk... I don't know. Bye." I bit my lip as I waited for her to say something else.

"Bye."

I ended the call and let out a sigh.

"Oh, fuck. Camilla?" Callie pushed my door open, looking rather disgusted.

"What?"

My phone started ringing. It was Billie again. I picked it up and answered it. "Hold on one second. Callie's trying to talk to me."

"Well, I think—"

"Just hold on." I held the phone away from my ear and looked up at Callie expectantly. "What?"

"There's, uh... another picture."

"Another picture?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Of—of you and Billie."

I could feel my heartbeat speed up at that. I hoped it wasn't what I thought it was. "Is it... it's not good, is it?"

She shook her head.

"Okay, just... just go back to your room."

She nodded and then walked out. I put the phone up to my ear again and sighed. "Uhhh... well... you were saying?"

"What she was saying," she said. "I'm really sorry. I guess she posted it before she got arrested."

"It's okay. It's not your fault, Bil. Don't worry about it."

"I just feel really bad about it."

"It's okay."

"Claudia said you're moving back but I can't ever tell if she's being serious. Are you?"

"Yeah. I am."

"You're not moving back in with your mom, are you?" she asked.

"No." I clicked the FaceTime button and she answered it. "I gotta find a place."

"I can help you look if you want."

"That'd be great." I laughed, propping my phone up.

"Well, I mean—what are you looking for?"

"Umm... a house because I'm too loud to live in an apartment. Pets need to be allowed—oh my God. Did I tell you that I got a chameleon?"

"No. Let me see."

I pulled the top off of the terrarium and let the chameleon crawl onto my hand. It was still a baby so it was only as big as my finger. "Look."

"Aw. That's so cool. But what the hell made you get a chameleon?"

"What the hell made you get a tarantula?"

She laughed. "They're cool. Duh."

"Exactly. You should see this thing eat. It's mildly disturbing."

"I bet." She leaned closer to the screen.