THE AMOUNT OF ANGST IN THIS SONG IS TOO MUCH I'M SO SORRY I HAD TO WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT. also, i put thirteen titles / lyrics in this fic let's see if you could see it :)
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There's just something about seeing the person you used to love being with someone else. Not going to lie, it hurts, a lot.
It hurts, it sucks, it's a lot of trouble. The fact that you feel like you need to listen to a lot of break up songs, the fact that you feel like you have to change what you look like, the fact that you feel like you have to prove that you're alright when in reality it hurts. So fucking much.
Jade stares at her ceiling, her phone on her chest as she just finished talking to Jesy, her only lifeline, the only person in her life that cares enough about her love life.
She's told her too many times to just "get over it," and to just "forget about her," but she knows that deep down, Jesy still wants them back together.
Taking a deep breath, the brunette opens her phone, scrolling through her messages— she stops at her number. The last message being a short but meaningful one to Jade.
"I miss you, baba. I love you, lots!" She reads aloud, trying her best not to let the tears fall from her eyes.
It's been exactly a hundred fifty days, exactly twenty one weeks since they last spoke to each other. Since they last saw each other. Not that she's counting or anything... she just knew.
Sighing, she gets up, throwing on a hoodie, her hoodie to be precise. It was two sizes bigger than her and Jade being a few inches smaller than her made it look like the item of clothing was swallowing her whole.
She didn't mind, though. As her smell still lingers on the material, giving Jade a sense of comfort. And yet it brings her so much pain at the same time.
It hurts, missing her, trying her best to believe that everything's fine when she knows damn well that it isn't.
"Dear god." She whispers to herself, hugging the hoodie closer to her as the wind slams on to her body, making her shiver and chatter her teeth as she walks away from her flat, trying to distract herself from everything else.
Not that it ended bad, they didn't have any bad blood at all. It was just— everything was so sudden. And Jade thought it would be for the best but now, thinking about it, she should've fought harder for them.
She really should have.
Jade watches as the leaves begin to fall, landing on her head, in front of her, in front of them.
She stares in horror as she sees her, holding someone else's hands, smiling brightly as she stares at someone else's eyes.
The way her smile, Perrie used to smile at her like that. She used to stare at her like she was the only girl in the world and now... there was someone else that she was staring at like that.
Jade watches as the blonde pulls Leigh-Anne closer, her arm around her waist, her eyes begin to trail down, her heart clenches.
She was on the same cute tee Perrie had bought her once, telling her that it suited her despite it being three sizes bigger, Jade shut her eyes, stopping the tears from dropping down.
It hurt, seeing Perrie stare at someone else like she used to look at her. It hurt, seeing Perrie smile as bright as she did when she was with her with someone else. It hurt, watching her pull someone close the same way she did, pulling Jade close when they were together.
