Bad Things (Hinata Shoyo Ambm)

Chapter Seventeen

*Trigger warning suicide attempt

Calum's Pov
God everything is just so damn loud, how can everything feel so empty and dark between the four walls of my room, yet I could still hear her very loud voice?

I watched the smoke carefully float up in the air sitting in the chair near my desk staring in the same space. Hurting you was something I promised myself I never would do.

I broke so many damn promises, when I said I was gonna change my ways. My eyes were quite heavy from just crying out of nowhere. School felt like it was a never ending battle of just avoiding the whole Karasuno volleyball team.

I even ignored Sugawara most of the time when he was trying to talk to me. Even though I wanted to know everything when I heard the name Shoyo Hinata. Losing him now was my worst mistake.

He was my light at the end of the tunnel but it was dim and back to the pitch darkness I was stuck in. I held the cigarette to the end of my lip, grumbling a bit I inhaled the toxic smoke blowing it out slowly looking out the window.

I glanced over at my desk annoyed scooping up the little black box a bit chewing at my lip. I really was gonna do it wasn't I....? Sold all those drugs to buy the most expensive one I could.

Even though he still is a first year I knew I didn't want anyone else. I slammed it back on the desk in annoyance making sure to keep it hidden, I didn't even flinch when my mom slammed my door open.

"Calum what the hell is wrong with you? It's been a month you barely leave the fucking house unless it's for school, don't you have friends!" God how can the woman who gave birth to me be the cause of my most violent thoughts to myself.

"No I don't have friends, can you just leave me alone." I grumbled out my hair had curled up in the mids of the full month. My milky brown skin looked almost too pale from me skipping meals here and there. And the drinking as well.

"I thought you had a boyfriend or something? What did you screw that up too like you screw everything else up." I winced a little at that, and put the cigarette out whipping around to stare at her fast.

"I am in pain! I just hide it with drugs and drinking! I lost the only thing that mattered to me, but of course you wouldn't care about that mom! All you've cared about is yourself." I screamed feeling my tears leave me.

"I am in pain... and it's not just mentally, physically I can't sleep, my mind won't shut up, and nothing can fix it." She stared at me a little rolling her eyes hard.

"God you are so dramatic." She stomped off  before she came back throwing all these pill bottles on the floor, they shook when they hit the floor.

"Take some pills and shut up, go to sleep the pain will go away." She muttered holding her head she walked away. I held my breath for just a moment looking at all the pill bottles.

I stood up for a moment sitting on the carpet I picked up a few of the bottles shaking them a bit my hands trembling looking at them. These are pain meds... Prescription over the counter kinds.

My mom was addicted to them. Then these were like Advil sleeping pills. I fluttered my eyes a couple times before I picked up both the bottles leaning against my bed fluttering my eyes a few times grabbing the water bottle off my night stand.

One.. Can't hurt... I popped open the pain meds grabbing one swallowing it roughly with water but then quite fast my thoughts just kept telling me take more, keep going you want this pain to go away. You gotta take more.

I dumped the whole sleeping pills bottle in my palm pouring them all in my mouth so fast drinking the water swallowing as many as I can doing the same with the pain pills.

I felt my eyes sting at the thought I could still feel Shoyo's arms around me hugging almost like he was there with me.

"I got you! You owe me one big kiss babe!"

"Baby look a shooting star! Make a wish."

I teared up even more holding my face screaming out so quickly. I held my face screaming and sobbing so loudly I let out all these pained screams out.

I'm tired of it... I'm sick of it just let me die

I know it wouldn't happen to fast but I just kept crying my heart aching because I wanted and needed him.

"Calum! God damn it." I heard her footsteps coming back towards me. She slammed my door open but for the first time in a life time. I saw this fear in her eyes when she rushed over almost slipping.

"Calum... Holy shit Calum did you take both bottles of the pills?! You're gonna overdose!" She screamed quickly. She slapped me so fast and so hard but it wouldn't change that I took the pills. She grabbed at my face.

"Spit them out! Throw them up now!" She was screaming hysterically but I quickly shoved her off me so fast.

"Get away from me! " I screamed through my crying. But once again she was quickly grabbing me.

"Calum! Oh fuck I gotta call an ambulance." I felt this like crash hit me in a wave and I felt my body shake a little and I roughly leaned my head back.

"Fuck! Calum!" I shut my eyes deeply sobbing quietly.

"Just hold on okay... Keep your eyes alright sweetie fuck I'm sorry!"

Shoyo.... I'm sorry I really am and I hope you can forgive me baby