Behind the Clouds

Chapter 15

After our last hour of climbing, we said goodbye to Eric, and Jericho was taking me home. I had to say that I was glad he came. It was nice to be able to see him have fun reaching the top. “Well, I’m glad I came. It felt good climbing up there,” he said.

“Well, I’m glad you had fun. It always feels good being able to reach the top.” For a moment, I was feeling that sense of freedom I felt whenever I climbed up the wall. It made me feel strong, invincible even. Every inch I climbed was one inch towards satisfaction. Towards the clarity I so desperately needed.

“Can I ask you a question?” He asked suddenly.

“Sure. What do you wanna know?”

“What brought you to working at High Rock? Why not any other retail store around the corner or little restaurant?” I could give him a long story that probably would’ve taken hours to explain, but instead I just gave him the simple answer.

“My dad,” I said simply. “After…he died and we moved here...I was in a bad place. I was still depressed and lonely even after the girls approached me, and I didn’t have any idea as to what to do to get rid of all the negative feelings I had. Then I remembered that my uncle took me climbing before, and I liked it a lot. I found High Rock, met Eric, and since then rock climbing has been my outlet for getting rid of anything negative and giving me some peace of mind.” He was quiet for a minute. He seemed far off like he was in his own world. Probably relaying the past just like I was. Then he finally spoke.

“Well...I’m glad that at least you had something to help you get through. I didn’t exactly have the same outlet that you did. Then again I didn’t have an outlet at all. I was on my own. I kinda decided that if I had no one to help me then I could survive by myself.”

What made him so much like me?

“I’m sorry. I wish you had an outlet,” I said honestly. “Unfortunately, there’s a limit to the number of people who can understand what the real ‘thing’ is behind others. Some people just see the mask and believe that that’s what they look like, but they don’t really know what’s on the other side. Life would be so much easier if people weren’t so blind to the truth.” I really wished I had people to talk to back then. Things would’ve been a lot easier if my mom or my friends, people who didn’t experience what I felt, could be more receptive to the truth that not everyone has a clean past. I didn’t have what they did. And now I knew for sure that Jericho didn’t have one either.

“It’s alright. After a while I got used to it. Didn’t talk to anybody, acknowledge anybody, or even go out on the town with some old mates who probably had a good chance of getting me out of my state, but I refused. There were so many distractions I could’ve had, but I couldn’t bring it upon myself to really do anything about it because I was so used to it. I was still stuck with it and still am, but it’s been getting easier. Meeting you was one of the best distractions ever.” He smiled that smile I’ve gotten so used to. He grabbed my hand as he drove to my house and our hands just rested on the center console.

He said I was his best distraction. I thought rock climbing was mine, but now I find that he surpasses even that to the point where I could go hours without having to feel the negativity flood through me. It feels as if that dam in my mind has been broken down and the stream of emotions flows more easily for me.

After I got home, I did my normal routine and before I went to bed, I laid down staring at my ceiling and tried to gauge how much I had changed since I met him. Do you ever get that feeling that you get when you feel like you’re really living? That’s what it felt like with Jericho. The rush of heat and adrenaline that came with his touch; the sense of excitement whenever we did something together. It was all so surreal. The little part of my heart that had hope had grown and intensified, and I felt it blossom like a ginormous flower in my chest. It never felt so good. As I drifted to sleep, I kept in mind all the amazing sensations that had appeared because of Jericho to prevent any nightmares from disturbing my peace. But in the back of my mind, one thought seemed to subtly pulse in my mind.

What would happen if the fire died? What if the sun stopped shining again?