𝗿𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀; nct dream

twenty four

Chapter 24: Behind Closed Doors

Warning ⚠️
I've never had a panic attack before, nor have I ever witnessed one. I apologise if I don't capture it correctly!

The brunette began to heave with how tight his chest was becoming.

It burned, as if a fire had been ignited on his bare skin.

His hands slid down the walls of the shower as he tried to cool himself down while calming his breathing, but it seemed that no matter how many deep breaths he tried to take, oxygen would be denied.

Whimpers fell from his lips as his hair fell over his eyes, flattening there from the rush of water falling from above him.

Jeno felt utterly ill as the panic attack continued.

His breath became precious as it slipped away from him quite like his grip on reality.

It slipped away from the hyperventilating teen, further and further until all he could see were the black dots that swarmed his vision dangerously.

He didn't even hear the twisting of the knob, or the panicked breaths as one of his friends entered the bathroom.

He didn't snap from his sinking thoughts until he heard a shrill 'fuck' come from the door.

Still, he was unable to regain control over his breathing, his body feeling light, as if he were walking on air.

Even with the nozzle spouting freezing cold water from above, Jeno could still feel the sweat that grew on his forehead.

With heavy eyes and a pounding heart, Jeno's head lolled, his eyes rolling back as he fell.

•

•

•

The lazy late-day sun seeped through the pulled curtains. Jeno could feel an uncomfortable burning sensation on his eyelids due to this light, yet couldn't find it in him to open his eyes. He felt drained. No words could describe the exhaustion that he felt.

"Jen? Are you awake?" A raspy voice asked, pulling the younger from his thoughts.

With great hesitance, Jeno peeled his eyes opened, shocked when Renjun sat at the end of his bed, eyes red from tears and voice raw from crying.

"Mhmm."

Jeno couldn't move before Renjun embraced him in an uncomfortably tight hug. He would be lying if he said he didn't love it though.

"What happened?" He croaked out while still holding Jeno close. "I was so scared, Jen. You wouldn't wake up and the nurses were busy!"

The younger merely chuckled dryly, trying to ignore the parched feeling. He smiled fondly at the agitated boy who was still clearly scared. Jeno grasped into Renjun's trembling hands, bringing them to his lips to place a chaste kiss on them.

"I don't know, Jun. It was all a haze." He paused for a moment while holding Renjun's hands to comfort him. "But I'm fine now."

Renjun looked unconvinced, but still nodded along with the brunette.

"I'm tired, but I think I'm okay."

Renjun poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, knowing that now was the wrong time to share his recent issues with Jeno. The younger had enough on his mind as it was.

"I guess you were lucky that Jaemin sent me to check on you, or you would have hit your head pretty hard," Renjun mumbled while still fighting tears.

He had only witnessed a few of Jeno's major panic attacks, and even then, Mark or Jaemin had always been there to calm him. He had never actually had to handle one of them alone.

He felt like a weight had been taken off of his shoulders as he leaned in to gently kiss Jeno's cheek.

"I was scared y'know?" The older looked away with a blush, not noticing that Jeno was doing the same. "Don't scare me like that, Jen!"

With another broken giggle, Jeno brought Renjun in for another hug. This time it wasn't a bone-crushing one and instead was rather enjoyable.

"I won't Junnie."