𝗿𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀; nct dream

twenty five

Chapter 25: Fractured

Warning ⚠️

-ptsd attack
-suicidal thoughts

Jaemin felt his heart ache painfully as he watched his crush hug Renjun.

Of course this was all out of context for Jaemin who simply saw it as the pair bonding.

Had he known that Renjun had just aided Jeno through a panic attack, or that Renjun was shaking violently while coming to terms with what he had just witnessed, he might not have let the tears fall as he had.

Jealousy was never a good thing and he knew that, but the pain of his heart tightening was agonising. He knew that Renjun was in a tough place at that moment with his metal stability suffering, but he couldn't help but think of how selfish the older was - even if they were as bad as each other.

Jaemin felt utterly fractured, as if his heart had been thrown to the ground and it's fragility shattered into a million pieces.

He turned on his heel and ran down the hallway after seeing the two share a kiss, and it wasn't an innocent one at that.

His rage was replaced by utter sadness as he slipped into his room.

His breathing was uneven and his heart pounding painfully as he pictured the kiss.

His hands became tangled in his hair, trying to push the attack aside. It wasn't his fault, it wasn't his fault at all.

No matter how many times he told himself this, he could still feel the man's hands on him, his lips crashing upon his. The feeling of the kisses that trailed down his neck still lingered, and most of all the agonising pain of the violent sexual attack.

Jaemin was having a PTSD attack, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He hated this so much! The dryness of his throat and the painful scratch of swallowing left him gasping. His lower lip began to bleed with how hard he was biting down on it to suppress the cries.

He slammed the door shut behind him, sinking to the floor as tears streamed freely down his face.

Each advance that the man had made felt present. Every evil occurrence that day felt amplified. Jaemin was stuck living in the jail cell of his own mind, where he let no one venture. This caused him to become stuck there quite a bit.

His breaths became shorter and shorter, his saliva becoming choked on as he scratched as the skin on his wrists.

No words could escape the adolescent's mouth as he fought desperately for control of his thoughts. But to no avail.

His mind had won yet again.

Beads of blood began to form beneath his long nails, causing him to sigh slightly. His attack was present, and the years of hellish thoughts never left him, but the pain was distracting enough for him to get a decent breath of air.

With a hazy view, the young teen dragged himself to the bathroom where he searched for something.

He wasn't exactly sure what it was he searched so desperately for, but once his hands clasped onto a bottle of pills, he realised what he was doing.

He popped the lip of the stolen bottle open and poured a handful of the pills into his hand, his mind not even processing what he was doing.

It wasn't until his trembling hand was slapped out of the way that he saw a teary eyed Donghyuck heaving heavy breaths.

"I knew it," he hissed while pulling the taller into a hug. "Don't fucking scare me like that!"

Jaemin broke down in the older's arms, his knees weak as his head pounded with all the painful thoughts that coursed through it.

As he looked to the door he saw each of his friends standing there.

He fucked up....

Thanks for reading, guys! ☺️

Small promo ahead ~

I just published a Markhyuck called 'Distance'. I hope you will have a look, but if not I'll see you all in the next chapter! ✨👏🏻

Aofa~