Truth of Falling

01 | New start

It's been almost a year since I stepped foot into a high school.

Stepping up on the steps of my new enormous high school building, a soft breeze blows by and my eyes roam the building looking left and right as students rush pass me.

I grip my phone tightly in my hand breathing lightly, listening to the sound of birds chirping on the rooftop.

I take a deep breath, clamming my eyes shut.

New year.

New day.

New school.

New me.

You can do this.

Nobody knows. Nobody knows anything about me. Just open the doors and walk in.

Today is a Friday so if anything goes bad tomorrow will be the weekend and I can forget the whole thing.

"You can do this." I whisper out convincing myself just to go for it.

I feel the anxiety building up at the tips of my fingertips.

I take a few more steps then stopping in my tracks when I notice my phone buzzes in my hand with a message from mom.

Have a great first day! I'm so excited for you!

Not responding, I roll my eyes shoving my phone in my denim jacket pocket.

If she thinks switching schools is going to change the past she's wrong. It can't. Nothing can.

Walking up to the front doors, I  reach out to open them but then pull my hand away quickly.

Come on Millie, you can do this. No one knows who you are. No one knows about what happened. Just find your locker, keep your head down, get to your classes, and don't look completely helpless. It's the first day for everybody so just stay calm and don't cause any problems to draw attention. Your only goal is to succeed and graduate and if public school isn't working out in a week then I can always be homeschooled again.

I pull the ponytail out of my brown hair slapping it onto my wrist making my hair flop against my shoulders. I run my hands through it fixing it up. There now we are ready.

I reach for the doors again stepping inside finding myself automatically surrounded by obnoxious people chitchatting left and right blocking the entrance.

"Uh, excuse me." I quietly say to the group of students in my way.

Standing awkwardly, nobody even tries to move out of the way. I stand there contemplating on what actions I should take. Should I say excuse me again? Or-

"Oh forget this!" I push my way through the crowds of people in search of my locker, getting shoved back and forth through the crowd. When I finally get past them I take a deep breath trying to control myself.

That was ridiculous. Why do people feel the need to crowd the entrance, don't they have somewhere to be, or better yet why couldn't they just move somewhere out of the way to stand and talk before the bell.

Passing some more people in the entrance I start walking down a long random hallway remembering I completely have no idea where anything is or where I'm going. I should ask someone or a teacher for help but I hate getting help it's such a waste of time and besides there isn't a lot of hallways filled with lockers so hopefully I will find it soon.

I turn down a few more hallways going left and right and to my luck, I found it, number two hundred forty-six. A tall yellow locker, such a dreary color, why would any school pick such a color for a locker?