Truth of Falling

Prologue

No amount of time can heal me.

No amount of time can fix what I did.

Sitting on my bed, I slide my fingers across my bedding caressing the wrinkles all over my sheet and comforter.

A deep sigh escapes my lips. I can't believe it's almost been a year already. It feels like it was just yesterday, It feels as if the incident just happened unexpectedly, but no it wasn't and now I'm sitting here stuck with this horrible guilt that haunts me day and night and I don't think the pain will ever go away, no matter how long I wait.

I look up from my bed, looking around my room. My new room. A sad empty and plain new room filled with labeled brown boxes scattered around on the brown hardwood floor.

I still can't believe we moved. I thought mom was joking when she said we were going to move just across town but she said my therapist thought that would be best for me, although I think it was more my mom than my therapist.

I shake my head back and forth fiercely when I begin to think of therapy. I hate therapy. The small rooms with tinted windows allowing barely any light as you seat across from them listening to their questions. I hate it there so much. I'm so tired of talking to therapists, they can't help me. They can't change the past. They can't fix me.

Not moving from my bed, I hear footsteps approaching my bedroom door knocking three times.

"Come in!" Speaking up as loud as I can. The door slowly opens, appearing my mother in a light blue apron, she must've been cooking in the new kitchen.

"Have you-."She looks around the room spotting the boxes still packed. "Millie you haven't even started unpacking!" I shrug my shoulders, not caring about her disapproved look.

"I haven't felt like unpacking yet." She begins to drag the boxes that are next to the door over to me laying them at the foot of the bed, then plopping down next to me.

"Millie, I know you're upset about the move but this is what's best for you and you know it!" I start to open the box at the foot of my bed finding it full of clothes. I fold the box back up and I throw the box back onto the ground. I will sort those later.

"I know, but was moving necessary?" I say while pointing towards the boxes. I understand why we moved but it still sucks.

"Millie, you need a fresh start. You need to live your life again instead of staying cooped up in this house and away from people so we moved because it's what's best for you even if it's was just moving across town!" She takes a deep breath preparing for what she has to say next. "Also your new school starts this upcoming Friday" I look at her baffled by what she just said.

"New school?!" I could feel my face twist into a look of confusion. I thought we agreed I was going to be homeschooled because going to my old school was a big no.

"Yes...a new school, you need a completely fresh start and I thought this was a good option for you to start getting out there again and being with kids your own age again and I put you into a new school because you can't hide at home anymore and I know returning to your old school is out of the question."

I appreciate all the sacrifices my family made for me this past year, I really do but it's mainly because I know they all miss the old me but by changing everything I have ever known isn't going to help that, it isn't going to help fix me especially since she doesn't know the full truth.

"Why can't I just continue to he homeschooled?" Mom lets out a deep breath in irritation.

"Because as I said, you need to get out of the house, it's not up for discussion, it's either a new school or if you really want to be homeschooled you have to go back to therapy." She already knows the answer I choose. I absolutely don't want to be in therapy again and I can't go back to my old school so I stay in silence looking away staring at the rest of my packed boxes.

She stands up from my bed walking back to my door to exit but stops in her tracks and turns around.

"I know your hurt, but Millie it's been a year now and you need to move on with your life so please do some unpacking." She gives me a sadden look and proceeds to walk out the door shutting it behind her.

Throwing myself back onto my bed against my pillow I let out a huff. If only everybody knew what I did, then they'd see the truth.