Skinny Love (DreamNotFound)

20

TW's:
-Eating disorder
-Mentions homophobia

Days had passed and I hadn't talked with George. He mostly ate in his room and I missed being in his presence. Even though he treated me like shit, I missed him. I heard footsteps on the stairs and I looked up. George came through the door, his eyes red of crying and his face pale as a ghost.

'I'm going for a walk,' he whispered.

I pitied him. He looked so fragile. I wanted to jump up and run after him, but Sapnap wouldn't want me to and I wasn't allowed to walk since I didn't eat lunch yesterday. I had a argument with Sapnap about it, we were fine again, but he got really stressed by me not wanting to eat. I wanted to be skinnier for George. Maybe he would like me if I'm skinnier. I knew it for sure.

I looked up at George again. He was looking at me.

'Can you come with me?' he whispered. 'We need to talk.'

'He didn't eat much yesterday, so if you want to talk, it has to been very short,' Sapnap said.

'It's just a ten minute walk,' George whispered. He seemed to be scared to say anything.

I stood up and grabbed my coat, putting it on. We walked outside and an awkward silence overtook us. He was playing a little with his hands and he scratched his skin. I grabbed his hand to stop him and he startled. He pulled away directly.

'This isn't working, George.'

'It isn't.'

'I'm just making you stop hurting yourself and you directly think I'm touching you because I'm gay?'

'No, I just thought-. Dream, Sapnap was right.'

'About what? You being a homophobic idiot?'

'Stop, please. Let me talk. This hurts me too.'

'Fine.'

'I'm scared and I think uh- I think I like certain boys too.'

'You're gay?'

My heart jumped, he liked boys? So I had a chance?

'I think I might be, but listen. Don't tell anyone. I'm not homophobic, but my parents are. I can't afford to be gay.'

'Why not?'

'Maybe your parents will accept you, but mine won't. I always act like I'm a homophobe so no one thinks I like guys myself, but Sapnap saw through it and I was hurting you way to much to keep continuing my act.'

'How did you figure it out?'

'I liked a boy in high school, but he was a real homophobe so I guess that didn't go too well.'

'What happened?'

'Oh nothing really, I just never told anyone I liked a boy, but in college I liked a boy again, but I never liked a girl ever.'

'I have liked girls, maybe I'm bisexual, but I like boys more. I think I'm just not really labelling myself as gay or bisexual, just as I like guys.'

'I understand, I'm just gay. I'm sorry, Dream. Can you forgive me?'

'Can I hug you?'

'Of course, idiot.'

I hugged him tightly and we both bursted into tears. 'I missed you so much,' I whispered.

'I missed you even more.'

'Do you want to tell Sap that you're gay?'

He nodded. 'I don't want any form of argument anymore.'

'I understand.'

We broke the hug and smiled at each other.

'You look so tired,' I whispered.

'I didn't sleep for days, but I don't know if you saw yourself. You're so fragile and thin.'

'I ate less, I just couldn't bring myself to eat and I had a lot of arguments with Sap.'

'I'm so sorry, I should have never reacted like that, you can probably never forgive me.'

'It hurt me, but I think I'm able to forgive you.'

'Dream, can I take you somewhere sometime?

'Where?'

'The cinema or go for a picnic, without lots of food of course. Just relaxed.'

'Sure.'

'Will you please eat more again?'

'I will try, I was just very hurt.'

'I'm so sorry, I don't know why I just didn't directly tell the truth, but I got so scared. All I could think of was lying and being homophobic again.'

I hugged him again and we started walking back. It was already twenty minutes later and Sapnap stood in front the window worried. We walked inside and George sighed deeply.

'Don't directly swear at me, please,' George started. He started explaining everything and ended up crying loudly. Sapnap just hugged him and grabbed his hand. 'Sit down.'

George sat down. 'I'm so sorry.'

'It's fine, I have forgiven you. You should only apologise to Dream. You hurt him more than you hurt me.'

'I did, but-.'

'I forgave you George.'

He smiled. 'Thank you so much.'

777 words