Skinny Love (DreamNotFound)

18

TW's:
-Eating disorder (mentions self harm)
-Homophobia

I started hyperventilating when Sapnap and I ran upstairs. He hugged me tightly and let me cry.

'Shh, it will be alright. He is not the right one for you if he acts like this.'

'Sap, I'm still so in love.'

'I understand, but I have to be honest here. Maybe I was wrong.'

I cried even harder and he hugged me tighter.

'Dude, I love you still.'

'I was thinking of a good date idea, everything was for nothing.'

'You don't know, maybe he is just scared to show his feelings. Maybe he is scared because he is gay.'

'Don't give me hope that doesn't exists.'

'It still exists.'

'No it doesn't, he hates me. I'm sinning in his eyes.'

'Ask it.'

'Ask what?'

'What he thinks is going to happen now. If he is toxic I will literally get him on a plane today.'

I sighed and nodded. We walked downstairs to see George cry in the corner of the couch. He wiped his tears away as soon as he saw us and straightened his posture.

'What?' he asked with a soft sob.

'What now? What are we going to do? You hate gays, you can better leave.'

'No, I-.'

'What no? You just gave me a whole speech why being gay is wrong and now you know I'm gay, it isn't wrong suddenly?'

'I- let us work this out first.'

'Oh what are you going to do? Try and heal me?'

'No, I don't know.'

'I will stay gay even if we work this out.'

'You can see why I think it's wrong right?'

'Are you literally asking a gay guy why being gay is wrong? You're sick.'

'Well, I can say the same-.'

'The same about me huh?'

'You're completely sick,' Sapnap said to George.

'I just have been raised like this, I can't help it.'

'Maybe you should figure out what YOU think instead of your parents then.'

'I can't see you till then,' I mumbled, walking upstairs again.

I bursted out in tears again and curled up in a ball shape. I clinched my fists and started screaming. My crush, MY OWN CRUSH. I started hitting the bed and soon myself. My arm was paralysed from the pain and I couldn't feel it anymore. I heard Sapnap and George yelled at each other and I decided to listen.

'Get your shit together, dude. We aren't living in the eighties anymore.'

'I can't help it. Everyone always tells me it's wrong, what am I supposed to think?'

'THINK FOR YOURSELF. You hurt him, you broke him actually. You know what you did and how he copes with being hurt? He cuts himself, he stops eating. Do you understand that? HE MIGHT EVEN WANT TO DIE.'

'Why are you here then?'

'Because I'm freaking mad at you.'

'I can't help it.'

'You can pull your shit together and think. He likes guys, so?'

'It's not meant to be, I guess.'

'Oh and what you do, it that meant to be? Breaking peoples hearts?'

'I can't help it.'

'Can you stop saying that? Because you can. You can think, you have a brain. Listen if he wants to kiss a freaking guy, I'm not going to stop him and you aren't too. If he wants to be in a relationship with a boy and be happy, LET HIM, dang it. And George? I can expose you here and now, but I won't.'

'Expose me?'

'Oh, George. I saw you looking at Dream. I SAW YOU BLUSH. I heard you sleep talking about him.'

'I'm not gay.'

'You're a gay homophobe.'

'I'm not gay, what the hell, dude. Stop accusing me.'

'So being gay is an accusation to you?'

'Y- I mean.'

'Don't test me, George. I can knock you out in just one hit.'

'Oh, you're going to hit me because I'm not support it?'

'YES BECAUSE YOU AREN'T EVEN HONEST.'

'About what?'

'I saw you looking George. Hide it, hide everything. Hide that you are just scared.'

'Scared?'

'Of your homophobic parents. What would they think if their son was friends with a gay guy? What would they think if it was his best friend? And what would they think if their own homophobic son was gay?'

'I'm not gay!'

'Sure, hide it George. I won't talk to you anymore until you figured out what you want. If you still hate gays, I will book you a ticket back to England right now.'

747 words