Skinny Love (DreamNotFound)

3

TW's:
-eating disorder
-self hate (mentions self harm)

Today was Sunday, I hated that day. We ate soup, that was good. But I had to eat bread with it with some butter. My mum always gave me that, I disliked it. But if I didn't eat it, it would caught attention. And so did I, I ate half a cup of soup and some bread with as less butter as possible. After we finished, I went back to my room, moving my legs heavily. I smiled a little when I saw George calling me.

'Hey.'

'Dream! Can we maybe record for my channel today?'

I smiled. 'Sure!'

'Are you feeling better today?'

It was a few days after my trick and I even made George believe it.

'Yeah, I feel better.'

'Great.'

'Yeah.'

An a little awkward silence overtook the call. I didn't know how to react, he was being so sweet and I just lied about everything.

'So about my video,' George started. He explained his video idea. When he was talking I always muted my mic, I never wanted to make any noise and I only unmuted when I needed to. My face cam went never on, in whatever way. I was way too anxious for that.

'Dream?'

'Sorry, I was zoned out.'

'Oh, did you hear what I was explaining?'

'Half of it.'

'Dream, are you okay?'

'Yeah.'

'No, you're not. Something is off since a few weeks, maybe even months.'

'No, nothing is wrong. It's all fine.'

'Dream, I don't believe you. You've been different.'

'How?'

'Quieter with weird excuses.'

'Weird excuses?'

'I just think it's a little weird you threw up and you're just completely okay a few days after.'

'Why would I lie? I mean what can I lie about. You heard me throw up.'

'Yes, I did.'

'So what's lied about that.'

'I don't know, I'm trying to figure that out.'

'What do you think, I let myself purge?'

'I don't know, you could.'

'Why would I?'

'Why do you exercise this much?'

'I like doing something.'

'Why?'

'I like being fit. I used to never work out in high school and I was always tired.'

'You're still always tired. Do you think I haven't noticed? You sleep so much and otherwise you exercise.'

'No. We record too and I edit.'

'Okay, fine. I'm just worried.'

'Nothing to-.'

'No, shut up. You're lying. I know your lying voice and you are lying right now.'

'Everything is fine. Oh, George. You know what's fun? My parents are leaving for a few weeks so I have the house for myself.'

'Fine, talk over it.'

I was happy to have the house for myself. I could starve and lose weight.

'I was just happy.'

'No, you're not. You're happy for some different reason. You're depressed or something.'

'No, I'm not? I'm just glad. I'm sorry.'

'Why are you lying?'

Suddenly someone joined our call. It was Sapnap.

'You're just so annoying, I don't understand why you are lying to me- oh hey Sap.'

'Are you arguing?'

'He is lying and I'm sick of it.'

'I am not!'

'What is he lying about?'

'That he is okay-.' George ended his sentence in  a soft sob.

'Are you crying?' I asked confused.

'Well, I don't know. My best friend lies to me and isn't okay. What do you expect me to do?'

'But I'm not lying.'

'Dream, I don't know what this is about, but you have been acting differently last weeks.'

'What the heck have I done wrong?'

'Nothing, but it's just- you're so different.' Georges soft sobs ended now in crying and he cried loudly. 'I just-. Leave it.'

And he disconnected from the channel.

'Dream?'

'Don't lie to me. Are you okay?'

'Well, now I'm not.'

'What's going on Dream?'

'Nothing.'

'Why do you keep lying?'

'I don't, there is nothing wrong!'

'You made George cry.'

'Oh and that's my fault? He randomly accused me.'

'He didn't, he is right. Something is wrong.'

'No-.'

'What if I asked you to show me a picture of your arms?'

'What?'

Did he know? Did he know my arms were covered in scars? How could he know?'

'So you are going to tell me you have never hurt yourself?'

'No, why?'

'Because I saw scars on your picture with your cat.'

'Operation.'

'Show me, right now.'

'No why?'

'If you're okay, you can just easily do that right?'

'Why are you so mean?'

'Why are you lying?'

'This is not how you freaking help me.'

'So you admit it.'

'I- no!'

'What's going on, Dream.'

'N-nothing.'

And I disconnected from the channel.

767 words