Once Again | l.yngyng [ON-GOING]

39

(A/N: Please play PROM - Ebe Dancel)

Alexa

Napaawang ang bibig ko sa itinanong ko. Oh no! This is not a good atmosphere for what I just asked!

He looked at me. Hindi niya inalis ang tingin niya sa mga mata ko. I don't know why, but I think there's something in his eyes that tells me na marami siyang gustong sabihin at itanong ngunit ayaw niya lang mag-salita.

"Sandra, do you really think I would do that?"

I remained silent. I don't know the right words to say.

"Sandra, I'm doing this because I still love you, and I want you back. I want to prove myself to you that I'm not the same asshole before."

He put his right hand to one of my cheeks and he caressed it. I don't know if I should be happy or not. Naalala ko 'yung immature image namin ni Yang before. Maybe, he changed?

"Yang, I—"

"Shhh. Don't speak for now. I just want to enjoy stargazing with you."

I did not speak and let him do what he wants. Ayoko munang sirain ang kasiyahan niya. But, am I really happy? Tama ba itong choice na gagawin ko?

Nagulat ako nang biglang may tumugtog na kung ano sa speaker.

The music was slow but romantic. It was perfect, but not for us. Ano ba kami? High school friends with memories? Strangers? Acquaintance? I really don't know. Gusto ko na lang muna i-enjoy ang moment na ito.

"Can I ask you for a dance?"

He asked while holding his hand out. Tinanggap ko iyon and we started dancing under the beautiful moon light. With the winds blowing, the stars shining, and our bodies swaying, I think this is one of the moments that I feel special.

Nakaramdam ako ng paru-paro sa tiyan ko nang hapitin niya ako palapit sa kan'ya habang nakahawak naman sa baywang ko ang kanang braso niya.

He leaned his forehead to mine and he closed his eyes. I did the same to.

"I never knew I'd have this chance to dance with you."

I giggled. Yang sure knows how to get me with his words.

"Yang, can you swear to me that you're serious with...me? With...us?"

The music stops. He opened his eyes.

"I swear, Sandra. I'm serious."

I nodded and I'm still not satisfied with what he said pero I will see it for myself first.

He was looking right into my eyes and his gaze looked down to my lips. Kaagad na kumalabog ang dibdib ko. It was painful. I didn't know what I was feeling. Is this fear? Excitement? Or is it...love?

No! You must be joking, Alexa! This is not a joke time!

He started closing his eyes while moving his face closer to mine. I don't know if I'm ready for this. Do I avoid it?

Noong malapit na ang mukha niya sa mukha ko na tipong ramdam ko na ang init ng hininga niya ay lumayo ako.

"A-ano, Yang, kain muna tayo gusto mo?"

He quickly let go of my waist and kumuha ng pagkain sa kotse niya. I sighed.

I'm sorry Yang. I'm still not ready. Please don't hate me for now. I'm sorry.

After that we talked and talked about our day and after mga 2 hours, I think? Umalis na rin kami kaagad para makauwi at makatulog na rin. Napansin niya kasi na medyo inaantok na ako kaya hinatid na niya ako pauwi.

He just smiled when he left at kumaway lang ako habang papaalis siya. I need time to think about myself.

Do I want this? Am I gonna be happy with this? Is it fine to choose myself for now?

I hope I'm not gonna regret this decision.