Worth it |Mattia Polibio

Part 23

Jordon pov

" night Jordon," Fiona said before leaving my room. I waved at her and sat silently in the room.

These past few weeks have gone by so slowly. My first week of chemotherapy was terrible and the week I had to stay at home was difficult too. I realised the only thing I ever did was spend time with Mattia. If I wasn't at his house, he'd be at mine, or I'd be face timing him or calling him. Sometimes we'd just spend hours texting each other and I missed doing that so much.

I didn't need him to be around me all the time but I missed the idea of knowing that he was there for me. I sat back in my bed thinking of all the things that have probably happened since the last time I talked to him.

He's probably over me now, well I hope. I've probably missed a game or two over the two weeks and I trust that he did well in them. He's probably doing better in school now as well since he doesn't have me talking to him all night on the phone.

I know he's probably doing so much better without me and that made me a little happy but sad at the same time. Because I wanted to spend those happy times with him, I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to joke around with him and make him laugh and I smiled a little to myself just remembering how sweet his laugh was.

I closed my eyes trying to tell myself that I did the right thing letting him go but it still hurt. It hurt so bad.

I wiped my eyes and got out of my bed. I decided to walk around for a little bit and calm myself down. It looked like a lot of people were resting so I tried being as quiet as I could. I saw a landline that was hung onto the wall in one of the corridors and I stared at it for a while.

It was late but I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing now.

Was he asleep or staying up late to finish his homework?

Was he laying in his bed thinking of me or was he out with the boys trying to forget me?

Has he already forgot me?

I knew I shouldn't but I wanted to hear his voice so bad. I walked over the landline and dialled his number. It started ringing and I felt my heart beating quite fast because I was about to hear his voice for the first time in two weeks.

It was ringing for a while and I sighed because I doubt he was going to answer. I was about to put the phone back when the ringing stopped.

" hello?" I heard him say and I held in my breath. I heard him sigh, " hello?" He repeated.

I put my hand over my mouth and felt tears fill my eyes. His voice was little croaky so he must've been asleep. I was so tempted to say his name so he'd know it was me. I wanted him to know I was thinking of him but that would be selfish of me because I didn't want to lead him on. So I stayed quiet.

" is anyone there?" He asked in a bored and tired tone. The tears were rolling down my face now because I couldn't hold them in anymore. He cut the call and I breathed out heavily, sobbing a little.

I put the phone back and slowly went to the floor and rested my arms on my knees. I cried quietly in the dark corridor and it sucked that I forgot how hard it was going to be for me to get over him.

I don't think I ever could.

*****

Mattia pov

I heard my mom come into my room and she sighed sadly, " how you doing honey?" She asked me.

" ok," I responded but she knew I was lying.