Worth it |Mattia Polibio

Part 35

Hina go to your room right now. Everyone else, carry on as you were😂

****

Mattia pov

" mattia," she said quietly whilst shaking me, " mattia wake up,"

I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was standing on the side of the bed and I'm guessing she just came back from the bathroom," what's wrong?" I asked.

She sat back down on the bed though it didn't look like she was going back to sleep, she looked wide awake," nothings wrong, you gotta leave otherwise you'll be late for school," she told me, " today's Friday right? You have to go,"

I tutted quietly, " it's already morning?" I asked her and she nodded. I pulled her closer to me, and rested my head in her lap, " can't I just stay here with you?" I asked her.

She laughed a little again, " I wish, but you have to go," she said and I felt her run her hands through my hair. I started getting comfortable again, " mattia!" She said loudly and I groaned.

" fineeee," I said, whilst getting up slowly. I stretched my arms and yawned loudly.

I went to the bathroom connected to her room and washed my face and brushed my teeth. I was going to go home to shower before I went to school and change my clothes as well.

I was taking my time because I was still really tired, and I really didn't want to go in.

" Jordon I don't want to go," I groaned when I came back out of the bathroom. I really wanted to stay with her today, I didn't wanna be away from her.

" never in my life did I think I'd ever see a 6ft baby," she said shaking her head at me. I smiled a little and walked back to her bed. I flopped back onto it and she laughed a little.

I felt her hands in my hair again and I sighed quietly, liking the feeling, " are you really forcing me to go to school?" I asked her, " wouldn't you rather have me stay here?"

" of course I would. But I don't want you to miss anything. It's only one day, you'll be back here in a few hours anyway," she said, still massaging my head, " now get to school lazy ass," she said whilst patting my back.

I groaned again and I looked up at her to see her smiling at me. I sat up, " fine I'll go," I said begrudgingly. I leaned in,closer to her to give her a kiss, and I felt her smile against my lips. I parted and rested my forehead against hers, " I'll see you later,"

She smiled and nodded, " I'll be here,"

I gave her another quick kiss which made her laugh and I walked out of her room.

****

School was absolutely horrible.

I was thinking about being with Jordon for the whole day. So when the bell rang for last period I rushed home to change so I could go straight to her.

I opened the door to my house and I found it funny that the house was extremely quiet. I walked into the kitchen to see my mom quietly crying into my dads arms and Gian was crying quietly too.

They all looked at me when they heard me walk in, " what's wrong?" I asked all of them. I took my bag off my shoulder and dropped it to the floor.

My mom covered her mouth and she stood up, " mattia I'm so sorry,"

I looked at her confused, " ma, what is it?" I asked, " what's...," something came into my mind but I refused to believe that's why they were crying.

Gian stood up and hugged me tightly,and I put my arms around him, stroking the back of his head. I know nothing else could've upset him this much, but I still didn't want to believe it.

They had to be lying.

I shook my head at my parents, " no," I said and I carried on shaking my head, " she was fine when I left her this morning...I...she was..,"

" mattia we just got the call now from her father," papa told me.

I still didn't believe them. This had to be some sick prank that they were playing, Jordon must've planned it.

Gian let go of me and went to go get me some water. My mother walked up to me, trying to hold my hands, "mattia sit down we-"

I pulled my hands away from her and ran them through my hair. I backed away from her slowly," it can't...she can't be gone..." the tears were now rolling down my face.

" mattia, honey, she's past," my mom said, she got closer to me and I shook my head.

" no ma...she can't be...she can't...." she pulled me to her, hugging me tightly and I closed my eyes as more tears were pouring out of my eyes.

It didn't make sense to me. How did it...how did it just happen? How the fuck did she just pass minutes before I came home?

She looked alright this morning. I was waiting the whole day to see her. I couldn't wait to spend this whole weekend with her and finally go on those walks I promised her dad I'd take her on. I was staying so optimistic about this surgery because I was so sure it was going to work. I was so sure she was going to get better.

Never did I think that she'd..that she'd...

I knew I should've stayed. I knew I shouldn't have left her and gone to school. I was getting mad at myself for going so easily, I should've been more persistent and maybe she would've let me stay. Maybe then I would've managed to spend a little more time with her.

My arms tightened around my mother as it was hitting me even harder now.

She was really gone. If I went to her house or the hospital right now she....she wouldn't be there.

" I still had so much to tell her," I said quietly to my mother, " she told me this was going to happen," I said sobbing a little, " and I....I didn't want to believe her,"

I pulled away from my mother and I started to wipe my eyes. I couldn't be here right now, this was all too much and I didn't want to be around anyone.

I walked out the house, ignoring my parents calls and I carried on walking not knowing where I was going. I heard thunder and looked up at the sky and noticed it was about to rain. I pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head and carried on walking, still thinking about it all.

I was in some random park and I sat down on a bench. I lifted my legs up and rested my arms and head on my knees.

I couldn't hold in anymore. I sobbed loudly into my knees, and as I did the rain started pouring heavily.

I looked up at the sky as more tears were rolling out of my eyes. She was up there now, somewhere far away from me, somewhere where I couldn't reach her anymore.

I wasn't ready to let go of her yet. I wasn't ready for her to go away so suddenly, and it hurt knowing that she was snatched away from me so quickly.

My Jordan. My everything.

I looked back at the sky, " did you really have to go so quickly?" I asked, speaking to it as if I were speaking to her, " couldn't you stay with me a little longer Jordan?" I asked sniffling, " what am I supposed to do now, huh?" I started crying heavily again and I could feel my throat clogging up, " what am I supposed to do without you baby?"

I looked back at the floor, and watched the rain slap against the pavement, it only made me want to cry more.

" I'm gonna miss you," I said up the sky again, " I'm gonna miss you so much Jordon," I wiped my eyes, " I didn't even get to tell you how much I loved you," I said my lip trembling a little, " I didn't even get to say goodbye. I'm not ready Jordon, I'm not ready to let you go," I said shaking my head.

My mind went back to last night and I closed my eyes remembering what it felt like having her in my arms. I didn't know that it was going to be for the last time. I didn't know that the kiss I gave her this morning was going to be our last kiss together.

I didn't know that today was going to be her last.

*****

Errrr....so..😀