Worth it |Mattia Polibio

Part 36

Mattia pov

Her funeral was today.

It had to be the worst day of my life and it killed me seeing such a small amount of people here. It killed me that not many people got the chance to meet the angel that was Jordon.

Her funeral was an open casket, and every so often someone would get up to go see her.

My mother and father looked over at me, " mattia," my mom said tapping my shoulder. They were going up to see her but I didn't have it in me yet.

I shook my head and she nodded understanding. They walked up, and Gian was following after them.

I sat there quietly holding my head in my hands, trying to ready myself to see her one more time. I was readying myself to say my final goodbye.

I saw a few people walk up to me and sit around me. I didn't have to lift my head up to know who it was.

I sat up a little to look at them all, and I'm glad they could all make time to come here.

" how're you feeling?" Kai asked.

I shrugged not knowing how to respond to that. I wasn't feeling anything, I was feeling empty.

Everyone started to sit back down, and we looked up to see Mr Fanelli at the front, next to Jordons casket.

He said a few words but I couldn't bring myself to listen. It was only going to remind me how she's gone forever, and how she'll no longer be in my life.

" one person she loved immensely was Mattia," mr Fanelli said and his eyes landed on me, " would you like to say a few words?" He asked. I felt like it'd be rude to say no, so I nodded. I stood up from my seat walking up to the front.

Mr Fanelli gave me a little hug, which I felt like I really needed. He walked off and I could see Jordons casket from the corner of my eye but I didn't dare look in it. I knew if I did I'd probably burst into tears when I saw her.

Everyone waited for me to speak and I took in a deep breath before I started. I didn't really plan anything to say and I felt stupid for standing at the front now.

I closed my eyes for a brief second and took another deep breath to collect myself. I decided to speak from the heart, to say what I didn't get the chance to say to her.

" she was everything to me," I started off by saying, " there wasn't a single day since I met her that I wouldn't think about her, and that'll stay the same even though she's gone. She was an amazing friend and an even better girlfriend," I said looking down at the floor, " and I loved her, I loved her more than I loved myself. I always knew about her illness but never did I think that there'd be a day where she wasn't going to be here with me anymore. I always thought she'd get better and I'd be able to spend the rest of my life with her, because for me she was the one. But I guess we all have to remember life isn't promised to anyone, even to the people that deserve it,"

Tears were rolling down my face and I wiped them away.

I somehow managed to let myself look at her and I smiled sadly seeing her lay in the casket so peacefully. She was so beautiful and I was going to miss being able to say that to her face everyday. I was going to miss seeing her react in a shy manner, and blush like she always did. I took another deep breath.

" I can only hope she's doing well in a better place now. And the only thing I'm grateful for now is that she's finally in a place that won't be able to bring her any harm." My voice cracked at the end, and I closed my eyes, trying to collect myself again.

It was harder to since everyone was staring at me. I fought the urge to just break down and run out of here.

I walked a little closer to her casket. I smiled down at her and I wiped the tears that escaped my eyes. My hand was shaking slightly as I put it out to stroke her cold cheek. I took in another deep breath because this was it. This was the last time I was going to see her.