Being a Gallgher isn't easy, especially not for Ian's twin Alyssa Gallagher who lives on the southside with her many sibling and alcoholic father who drops in and out whenever he pleases.
Then there's the emotionless asshole who Alyssa just can't s...
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Fuck.
Fuck was the only word I could think of that explained the situation. Shit, I couldn't do any thinking over the screaming of the Russian whores that were camping out at my place after they lost their jobs.
"Tell them to shut the fuck up!" I yelled to Svetlana over the high pitched shouts before trying to get back into the kitchen. Svetlana stopped me before I could by following me, "You take jobs away!"
I turned to her, nodding, "Yes, I know and I will think of something!" I tried telling her. Svetlana held her hand up and pointed her finger at me, "They say you are stupid, fucking idiot!" She snapped.
I scoffed, "Well, what did you say back?" I furrowed my eyebrows at my scowling wife while crossing my arms over my chest. "That you also have small dick!" she answered with a raised voice.
I walked away shaking my head before looking down and tugging on the elastic of my boxers. Fucking bullshit. It's not small.
When I entered the kitchen, I went straight for the fridge, "Jesus Christ," I huffed, "What happened to a man's home being his fucking castle." I pulled the fridge door open and reached in for a beer.
"Three things," My dad, who was sitting at the kitchen table with Mandy's boyfriend piped up, "This is my home. You do have a small dick," he listed cause me to glare at him as I opened the beer bottle.
"And you started this because you thought your wife is worth more than a couple bucks a lay," My dad continued, "Let me tell you from experience, she's not."
I took a swig of my beer and mentally groaned when one of the Russian girls came storming into the kitchen and began screaming in my face. "I don't know what the fuck you're saying!" I screamed over her as she kept going, "Oh my god!"
I moved around her and sped back into the living room, the girl followed me, "I don't know what that means!" I yelled, spinning on my heel to look at all the girls, "Look, don't worry," I shouted at them, "We'll get a dick in you as soon as we can!"
///
I showed up at the Alibi that night after I'd come up with an idea on what to do with the girls while also making bank. "Yo, Kev," I nodded to him when I reached the bar.
"Yeah," Kevin looked over at me as he towel dried a glass. "You clean out that apartment yet?" I wondered, inclining my head up to the ceiling where the guy who owned the bar used to stay.
Kev nodded, "Yeah, just got it cleaned out," he told me, "I'm gonna set up some flyers and see if I can rent it out." I waved my hand, "No, I know how you can make a boatload."
"Rent it by the hour," I started making Kevin tilt his head in confusion. "Look, I got the labour force already," I explained, "All I need is clientele and a location."
