Always, Forever (Larry)

Chapter Two

Harry had been staring at the ceiling for the past twenty minutes, mind empty except for his imagination creating patterns from the engravings above him. His alarm sounded desperately from the other side of his bed. He reached over the empty space where he once lay, a sharp pain hitting his chest. "Not today," he pleaded with himself, "just forget for one day." It was impossible. It always had been.

Determined to shake the feeling that had overwhelmed him that morning, Harry slipped into a pair of black knee length shorts and a multicoloured Nike jacket. He clipped his hair onto the top of his head and wrapped a white and red bandana around his skull to keep the whisps from irritating his eyes. As he tied his orange trainers and embedded his headphones into his ears, he grabbed his sunglasses and stepped out into the morning dew.

...

As Harry returned from his run, the sweat gleamed across his forehead. Entering the bathroom to turn on the shower, he slowly untied the bandana and shook the clip from his hair. He was a lot more alert now that he was before, his mind on what he might wear to his audition.

Stepping out of the shower, Harry wrapped a white towel around his waist which hugged his hipbones loosely. He wandered over to his wardrobe and gently pulled on the wooden handle. His heart dropped. There, at eyeline level to him, sat a grey beanie which had once belonged to a small Donnie boy.

The beanie was caked in dust, untouched for years. Why Harry hadn't had noticed it before was beyond him, but his mind flooded with memories of the older boy. Slowly, the power of pain overrode the fondness, and instead replaced it with anger and hurt. Harry felt as though he couldn't breathe.

He never understood why Louis left with no explanation, and it killed him every day thinking that it must have been something he had done. "He won't be thinking of me now. Not after all this time. He left because he didn't love me and that's that. I need to move on." Harry attempted to persuade himself aloud for a few minutes, tears creating a stream down his cheeks, before pulling his audition outfit from the cupboard and getting dressed. Today was the big day.

...

Harry's eyes widened at the sight before him. He had been on set of a movie before, of course, but nothing like this. Fairy lights hung all around him, the sun setting in beautiful shades of orange and pink behind the white gazebo. Hundreds of busy bodies scuttled around inside the tent, chatting and laughing, holding glasses of champagne as they celebrated the start of filming 'Don't Worry Darling' the following morning.

As Harry entered the tent, a rush of applause filled the air. After all, he had been casted as male lead. Immediately, his eyes were drawn to a man shorter than him. Harry could see the back of the man's head, his brown hair rough and unstyled. Louis.

As the man turned around, Harry's heart sunk. Why he had wanted Louis to be there he didn't know, but the fact that Louis wasn't killed him. "Would he be proud of me?" Harry contemplated as each person awaited their turn to greet him. Harry shook his head gently. He was being stupid, after all, Louis never even thought about him anymore.

...

The following morning on set was a completely different atmosphere. Harry started the day with the immediate sounds of paparazzi radiating in his ears. He already had a headache from the lack of sleep the previous night. Alcohol, Louis, and getting back to the house at 2am weren't a great combination.

The clicks of their cameras pulsed with the sound of his heartbeat, like an internal tap that never stops dripping. The noise consumed him, and he squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to make it stop. He just wanted it to stop. The noise, the pain, the thoughts that were no longer a reality, but his heart ached for them to be true again. Exploding memories made his eyes tighter and his hands cover his ears and he just wanted it to stop...

"Harry?" Olivia Wilde was stood in front of him, eyes narrow with concern. He was safely inside the building of the set, but he could still hear them. She continued, "Are you okay?"

Harry slowly opened his eyes and they fell upon Olivia. She was wearing black skinny jeans and a white tank top, revealing two small tattoos on her arm. Her lips were rose red and face bare of make-up. Harry stared at her eyes as they relaxed and widened. All he could see was Louis.

The blue consumed him, chipping away any form of inner strength he had left. She had a green rim surrounding the blue and Harry's mind flashed with images of how he used to hold the older boy. He kept him safe and promised to never let him go but somehow, he still isn't here.

"Maybe he left because of me? Because I let go and then he didn't feel safe anymore?" Dark thoughts overpowered Harry's mind as Olivia's eyes turned grey, unknown, as if Harry would never receive the answers he was looking for.

"Harry?" Olivia repeated, her voice low but gentle.

"Yeah." Harry whispered, staring firmly at the ground.

"Sure?" Olivia wasn't convinced. As Harry forced a smile and nodded vaguely in her direction, she created a mental note to check in again later.