Always, Forever (Larry)

Chapter Sixteen

I know the manip is them the other way around but Louis carries Harry in this chapter. Just thought it was a cute photo :)

The indistinct chatter from the television filled the room with noise as both boys sat on the sofa. Tension fuelled their bodies awkwardly as Louis sipped his tea and kept his gaze lightly on Harry from the corner of his eyes.

Harry was engrossed in his Instagram feed, holding his phone with a bandage around his wrist. Blood spots were seeping through the off-white protection and Louis's heart broke.

'Why do you do that?' Louis asked, just loud enough for Harry to hear.

'I don't want to talk about it.' Harry replied, notably not averting his eyes from the screen.

'Harry, tell me.' Louis was stern but paused and his voice became vulnerable. 'Please.'

No response. Harry had closed his eyes in order to block Louis out, hoping it would just make him disappear. It didn't.

'Haz!'

Harry whipped his head around as Louis had practically screamed at him. Harry was hurting and he couldn't keep it in any longer.

'Fine! Do you really want to know? Do you really want to know why I force myself to feel so much pain?' His voice was loud, deep and stern as his eyes began to well with tears. He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down and Louis shuffled over to him.

'It's okay,' Louis breathed into his ear and put a hand around his waist, squeezing delicately.

'See that's the thing, Louis. It's not okay. I'm not okay. I've felt so much pain through the past years from the way we were treated, and I can't stand remembering the way you looked at her. That was supposed to be me! You didn't feel any pain when they put us through that and you should have. You treated me like shit, Louis, unless we were completely alone. I thought that if you couldn't feel the pain, I had to feel it for both of us.'

Harry surprised himself with the way he controlled his emotions and refrained from raising his voice. He had to stop there though as he knew he was about to snap. Louis had to continue. Of course, he did.

'But why still do it now?'

'God damn it, Louis! Do you not get it?! Every time I look at the scars the pain consumes my body. Pain that I thought I had left behind but it creeps back in when I least expect it. I wanted to die, Louis, I almost did. And no matter how hard someone tries to get rid of it, that feeling will always sit in the bottom of their stomach. The demons never leave. They just falsely befriend the angels.'

Louis was stunned as his eyes filled with tears. Harry breathed out heavily again. He'd never opened up like this before, not even to himself.

'Are you taking the medications?' Louis enquired timidly.

'Yes.' Harry was blunt. He clearly wanted the conversation to end.

Louis took the hint and put his tea on the table to lean Harry into his lap. The younger boy resisted but Louis was stronger than he looked. They relaxed into each other's familiarity and Louis twirled his fingers in his curls for a while.

'H?'

Harry looked up at Louis. It was clear that he had been crying but Harry didn't mention anything.

'Will you let me help?' Harry opened his mouth to speak but Louis continued, cutting him off. 'I know you don't think I can. But... let me try? Please?'

Louis was right, Harry didn't think he could help, but he hated seeing him upset so he nodded and cuddled into Louis's lap, falling asleep.

...

The water glistened in the reflection of Harry's eyes. It was just as he remembered. His heart thumped out of his chest, colliding with his ribs, as he bit his lip nervously. He wasn't even touching the water yet and he could already feel it invading his lungs as it pulled him down.

'I can't do this, Lou...'

Louis wrapped his hand around Harry's and looked into his eyes. 'Just sit with me on the side?'

Harry thought he was going mad when he agreed. The water came to just below their knees as their legs hung over the edge of the pool. He watched with wide eyes as Louis slid effortlessly into the blue. It matched his eyes; that made Harry smile.

Louis's hands outstretched themselves towards the timid boy. 'I promise I won't let you fall under, H,' Louis reassured, accompanied by a comforting smile. His hands secured under Harry's arms and the younger boy's naturally rested on his shoulders. He lifted him slowly into the water, their bodies flushed together as Harry's legs wrapped themselves around Louis's back.

'You okay?'

Harry nodded. 'Just don't let go.'

Louis smiled fondly at the boy in his arms before kissing him innocently. They lips connected like the last piece to a jigsaw puzzle and their smiles grew swiftly. As Harry burrowed his face into Louis's shoulder and wrapped his arms around the boy's neck, Louis took the opportunity to walk slowly further into the water. The warmth rose to their hips and Louis gently detached Harry's legs from him.

The older boy loosened his grip in an attempt to get Harry to stand on his own. Big mistake. The younger boy lost his footing and slipped, his body fulling submerging under the pressure of liquid before Louis could catch him.

'Shit,' Louis muttered. He pulled a sobbing boy into his chest and carried him back to the shallow end, gasps radiating in his ear as Harry inhaled short and rapid breath. 'Deep breaths, Angel.'

With one hand in his curls and the other on his back, Harry finally began to calm down. Louis kissed his temple gently before Harry removed himself, desperate to prove to boy that he could stand on his own. Louis smiled proudly at the ecstatic lad in front of him before lifting him out of the pool to dry off.