Always, Forever (Larry)

Chapter Eighteen

Harry sat proudly at Louis's side on the closest end of the sofa to James, the other three boys next to them. They were filming for 'The Late Late Show' on a Thursday evening and it was their first public interview since announcing their relationship at the premier.

Liam was explaining the meaning behind a song on their upcoming album, 'Finally', and Louis could still feel the cameras pointed in his and Harry's direction. He could tell all they wanted was some content of them as a couple, so he took Harry's hand, catching him by surprise as they agreed they were going to focus on the band rather than each other.

Harry raised an eyebrow in his direction, and he smiled reassuringly, squeezing Harry's palm softly. The rest of the questions went by smoothly and James didn't ask anything about their relationship. They were hoping that people would understand that and respect their privacy.

The final question came and was aimed at Louis. He lifted his eye line to watch Harry setting up the stage with the crew off camera. He was always the first to help where he could, and Louis loved that about him. Mid-way through the question, Harry started to try and distract him, pulling the weirdest face he could. Louis tried to contain his laughter but failed.

"I'm sorry, I can't..." he gasped for breath between his words, "Harry is pulling a funny face."

There was a faint reply that the cameras didn't quite catch as Harry wasn't wearing a microphone, but Louis heard them loud and clear. "That's a habit that he can't break!" And it was in that moment that Louis knew he was beyond head over heels for this boy. Nothing could ever change the way he felt.

...

The door to the sitting room of Louis's house was slightly ajar, two people sat comfortably on the sofa discussing a topic that Harry couldn't quite hear from down the corridor. The boys had been stood in the kitchen the morning after arriving back in the UK when the doorbell had rung, and Louis had naturally gone to answer it. That was over ten minutes ago, and Harry had wandered around to find where he had got to.

Harry hovered at the door, not wanting to interrupt the conversation. He was intrigued as to why Louis hadn't just brought whoever was at the door back into the kitchen to talk with everyone. Why did it have to be a secret?

"I love you."

Harry knew that voice. His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach and his mind froze. He wanted to run. He didn't want to hear what Louis had to say back. Yet here he was, feet glued to the carpet and breathing held silent. Maybe he would fight for him. Maybe.

"I love you too." Louis was so calm. He said it with so much meaning. It couldn't be true. No. No. No. He hadn't seen Eleanor in months. She couldn't love him. He loved him. But Louis didn't want Harry; he wanted Eleanor. His feet took flight down the corridor, eyes drowning as the pain overwhelmed his body. The memories etched into his wrists came to life, torturing him. I told you so.

"Is that really what you think he would say back?" Eleanor asked timidly.

"Yes!" Louis whisper shouted back to her. He wanted to convey his tone of excitement without Niall overhearing. "He doesn't stop talking about you. When Harry's not around, of course."

"Does he still hate me?" Eleanor looked down at her feet, slightly hurt that Harry still couldn't even hear her name out loud.

"He never hated you, El. He just needs a little time. We were pretty good at pretending, you know."

Eleanor nodded her head in agreement, smiling slightly. "I want to be his friend, Louis."

Louis pondered for a moment before standing up abruptly. "Come say hi! He's in the kitchen with the boys!"

She nodded enthusiastically and they walked into an absolute mess. "What are you doing to my kitchen?!" Louis's eyes were wide at the scene before him. Pancake mix was on the countertops, pans overflowed the sink, and Niall could've been mistaken for frosty the snowman with the amount of flour on his face. Louis sighed, "Anyone seen Harry?"

"I think he went to the toilet?" Zayn appeared from inside the fridge with two eggs in his hand. Louis nodded and walked back along the corridor towards the bathroom, leaving Eleanor to join in the fun.

Harry had spent what felt like hours rummaging through the cupboards, collecting as many pill bottles as he could find. He unscrewed the caps and poured them into the palm of his hand. Past images of Louis and Eleanor roamed free in his mind. The way they used to hold hands, touch, kiss. It was destroying him. Fuck that. He was already destroyed.

He heard the door creak and whipped his head around to face Louis stood in the doorway. He knew he had seen his hand and the cup of water on the side of the sink next to him. He was at least ten or so metres away, the sink being on the opposite side of the room.

"Harry?" Louis's voice was quiet, and he swallowed the nerves in his throat that had built up at the sight in front of him.

Harry couldn't speak. He could barely even look at Louis. After everything he had put him through, he was ready to do this. No one was going to stop him, especially the last person he was holding on for that never really cared about him in the first place.

"Harry? Please." Louis's voice was soft but frightened. He didn't dare step forward, scared to startle him. Where the hell was this coming from?

"Why, Louis? Why should I listen to you? All you've done is lie to my face! Made me think that everything we had was real, when you really fell for her this whole time. Was this a game? Am I just a player in this world that you think you can control? I hate you Louis! And I hate myself for ever loving you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."

Harry spat the words at Louis's face to start with. He couldn't believe that he had the audacity to pretend to be clueless about the situation. His voice receded to a whisper as he shook his head slowly, salty splashes dripping onto his chest. He threw the pile of pills into his mouth, swiftly swigging a gulp of water. That was it. It was over.

"HARRY!" Louis's voice cracked in pain and disbelief as he ran towards him. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't lose him. Harry. Harry. Harry. He wanted to save him. But that was the thing; he couldn't be saved. Louis received one last stare into the boy's beautiful green eyes before he uttered his last words.

"You broke me, Lou. And broken things can't be fixed..."

Just like that, the world went black. The silence set his ears ringing and the pain oozed from his brain. He didn't have to worry anymore. He didn't have to pretend to smile. He didn't have to cope.

"HARRY!" Louis screamed again and fell to his knees, scooping Harry's limp body into his arms. He cried until his eyelids couldn't keep up with the flow of despair and he begged for him to just wake up.

"Louis, what is goin-" Liam immobilised in the door frame, taking in the picture of the room. A few stray pills lay aimlessly on the floor next to a ghost white, lifeless boy being rocked in the broken sobs of another. "Oh my god." Liam pulled his phone out of his pocket immediately, dialling for an ambulance as the soft cries of Niall in Zayn's shoulder sounded behind him.