The Male Slayer - A Buffy The Vampire Slayer Fanfiction

IV. Xander's Bodyguard (Chapter 4)

The next day, neither James nor Xander left the apartment. James spent most of the day watching TV, while Xander barely came out of his room, only to use the bathroom or grab a beer from the fridge. James just left Xander to it, going to sleep again that night genuinely worried about if Xander might not need to be saved from any demons but, perhaps, his own demons. 

It was only the following afternoon, when there was a knock at the front door, that anything actually happened. "I'll get it." Xander said, coming out of his bedroom. 

"Okay." James replied. He was currently in the kitchen corner of the apartment preparing something for lunch, despite the lack of food. 

Xander opened the door and a voice spoke, "Hey." 

"Hey." Xander greeted, hardly amused, turning away from the door. Buffy walked in and looked around the apartment, spotting James and quickly avoiding eye contact with him. "I think there's still a cold one in the fridge." 

"Thanks but, uh, I think it's still a little early for me." Buffy replied, closing the door behind her. The two walked over to the couch and sat on it, both waiting for the other to speak. "She loves you, you know that. Anya was just...she was hurting. She was hurting and...and she did this really stupid thing. 

"With your boyfriend." Xander interrupted, his biting remark visibly annoying Buffy.

"He's not my boyfriend." 

"I know why Anya... I understand, I do. But you?" Xander said, making Buffy look down at her feet. "All those times I told Spike to get lost, that he didn't have a chance with a girl like you." Xander laughed lightly, shaking his head.

"You don't know how hard it's been." Buffy replied. 

"What, lying to me?" Xander poked.

"Being here. After I was brought back." she clarified. Xander immediately realised his mistake and Buffy calmed down, sighing heavily. "You have no idea how hard it is just being here."

"You could have told me." Xander reassured her. 

"You didn't want to know." Buffy replied. 

"So you went to him instead?" Xander said, his tone darkening again. 

"Xander, what I do with my personal life is none of your business." Buffy bit back. 

"It used to be." Xander responded softly. Buffy didn't know how to answer that and fidgeted around in her seat. 

"It just happened, okay?" she said eventually. 

"Oh, like, uh, 'Say, you're evil, get on me?'" Xander asked, chuckling bitterly. 

"You fought side by side with him when I was gone. You let him take care of Dawn." Buffy told him. 

"But I never forgot what he really is. God, what were you thinking?" Xander replied, which hurt Buffy.

"You're asking me that? Oh, 'cause your decision-making skills have really sparkled lately." Buffy laughed. 

"I'm not saying I didn't make any mistakes. But last time I checked, slaughtering half of Europe wasn't one of them. He doesn't have a soul, Buffy. Just some leash they jammed in his head. You think he'd still be all snuggles if that chip ever stopped working? Would you still trust him with Dawn then?" Xander ranted, his gaze never moving from Buffy's.

"It doesn't matter, I'm not seeing him anymore. It's over." Buffy said, resigned. 

"Yeah, there's a lot of that going around." Xander replied, crumpling up a beer can that he was holding. He stood up and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.