Tami P.O.V.
When my parents went to sleep I got up and went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife.
My heart was beating super fast. It felt like the blood in my body was boiling on the inside so my body temperature felt hotter than usual. I pulled my arm out and preceded to stab myself in the wrist so I can potentially slit my vein and die.
I really didn't want to have to do that, but I didn't see no other way.
I picked up the knife and as soon as I was about to stab myself, I stopped. The tip of the knife was only a centimeter away from my precious skin. I wanted to just do it and get it over with but it was like some force was preventing me from continuing. I didn't know how to explain it. And something in my mind kept telling me not to do it. It kept saying, "Tami don't do it. Put the knife away." But something else was saying, "Just do it, you want to get rid of the pain don't you?" I was stuck. I didn't know what to do.
If I really wanted the pain to go away, this is just what I had to do. I sighed and pulled up the knife and preceded to stab myself but something stopped me, once again from ending my life.
Brielle, Kya and Terry popped up in my mind. They were the last people I wanted to think about.
I just kept thinking about how they would feel. I thought about how Bri and Kya would be so crushed if they found out I committed suicide. The pain from knowing that they tried to help but they weren't enough would make them feel like the worst people on earth. I thought about Terry and how I would break his heart. And how he would view my suicide very confusingly because he would never really know why I did it. I couldn't cause my friends and my boyfriend that kind of pain. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't kill myself even if I wanted to. I couldn't hurt the people that I love the most.
I placed the knife back in its drawer and hurried upstairs into my room. I cried and cried, not because I was in pain but because the fact that I was actually going to kill myself just...it got to me. I then realized I wasn't in the right state of mind.
My phone was vibrating and I realized Terry was calling. I picked up the phone.
"Hey baby, you alright?"
"No. I'm not alright." I cried. "I needed you and you weren't there!"
"I'm so sorry Tam. Tell me what happened."
I continued to cry, not able to get a word out of my mouth. Terry doesn't even realize how much I needed him. If they hadn't popped up in my head, I probably wouldn't even be talking to him right now.
"Tami why are you crying? Did someone hurt you?"
"Yes. Everybody hurts me. EVERYBODY HURTS ME!" I wailed.
"Tami you're not telling me anything. Calm down and talk to me. I want to help you." He should've wanted to help me when I was on the verge of committing suicide!
"Terry I can't tell you." I wailed. "I can't tell you what's going on."
"Then how can I help you?!" He screamed. "I told you things I would never tell anybody but you cant tell me this?"
I sighed. I had to tell Terry what was going on. I had to, if I wanted help. If I didn't get help l would have probably ended up trying it again.
"Terry...I..."
"You what baby? Talk to me please."
"Terry...I..." I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell him. I wasn't sure how he was going to take it.
"Terry, I tried to commit suicide."
Terry P.O.V.
I dropped my phone as I heard the words I tried to commit suicide come out of Tami's mouth. It felt like the world had just stopped. My heart felt like it just got stabbed. My Tami, my lover, my baby, almost tried to commit suicide? I couldn't believe it.
