Your Addictive Heart || l.s

A Love Worth Fighting For

Harry wanted to be the one to comfort Louis but Zayn and Liam took the lead. He should have insisted that he go, but he was nervous.

The last time he tried to help, he didn't want him anywhere near him. He wanted to be the person that could help him through his worst moments but maybe he wasn't there yet. That stupid game got him thinking that maybe he didn't know Louis at all... and maybe that was Harry's fault. He had a habit of drowning out the things he didn't want to hear and that resulted in months of shutting Louis down every time he wanted to open up.

He wanted more for them but he didn't know where to start with all these doubts swirling through his head.

They were back at the lake they all loved so much. It was a lot colder and the breeze made him shudder. He was freezing but he didn't say a word. He just wanted to be here with his friends. The alternative was staying at home and over-analyzing his relationship and worrying about opening night.

Zayn's fake I.D bought them a few bottles of liquor and some soda. Zayn, Liam, and Louis took on the responsibility of building the group a fire and it was the highlight of his night.

Whenever the three of them worked together it usually started with Louis bulldozing over Liam's ideas and ended with them doing it the way Liam had originally suggested, at the recommendation of Louis, of course.

After what felt like hours, they finally had the most pathetic of fires. The night started out lighthearted and fun like always but after Harry had a few drinks in him things got deep.

He rested his head against the sand and stared at the stars. They were magnificent tonight. "Do you guys think there's like other versions of ourselves in like other universes?" Harry thought aloud.

"What?" Anna shouted unable to hear his ramblings.

He sat back up. "Do you think there's like other universes? Places where you did things differently. Places where it's a little better or maybe a little worse?" He used his hands to illustrate his thoughts.

"Like the multiverse theory?" Liam's interest was piqued. "Totally."

"Do you think there's one where everything just works out perfectly?" Harry didn't mean for the question to sound so glum. He noticed their faces all fell a bit.

"You mean a universe where you just get everything you want?" Olivia chuckled unamused.

"Yeah." He could feel Louis studying him although he was afraid to meet his stare.

"Maybe... there's another universe with a you in it and this is everything they want." Niall fed into the discussion with his usual enthusiasm and it got a giggle from the group.

"Who cares," Diana spoke up. She was holding the bottle of shitty vodka and it was about a quarter empty at this point. She stood up like she was about to deliver a performance just for them. "We're in this universe!" She shouted. "If you want something you have to take it. I mean you have to put your heart on the line but isn't worth it. Aren't we all worth it?" Her ivory skin against the moonlight made Harry feel like some wise ancient spirit was here to deliver an important message.

"I mean think about it. Your heart is a muscle. Yeah, we tear it apart and break it but that's a good thing, isn't it? It makes it stronger so that we can fight for what we love. And we are, we are supposed to fight for what we love and what we want." She had a gift. Harry had always known that about her. A way of speaking to a person's heart.

"I don't know how long I'll be here..." She trailed off as she stared at the moon. Nobody could take their eyes off her as she spoke. "I don't know how long any of us will be here. You never know. You have to say what you feel when you feel it. Before we're not around to hear it. You have to take what you want when you want it. Before it's not around for you to take. You have to be brave. It's okay to be selfish sometimes." Her eyes fell to Louis. "It's okay to be unsure." She looked to Niall and Olivia. "It's okay to be scared out of your fucking mind." She threw herself into her words as she looked to Zayn and Liam. "It's even okay to be vulnerable. Weak." Her eyes came back to Harry. "It doesn't make you any less deserving of what you want. All of you deserve those mushy happy endings and every beautiful victory in between. So promise me, okay?" She put her hand over her heart.

Everyone felt captivated by her speech and obligated to place their hands on their hearts. "I promise to fight, scream, and work for the things that I love because I am worth it." She raised her fist in the air and it made them all want to crack up but they repeated it for her.

She smiled but started to lean back and forth looking unsteady. "And that's our cue to call it a night." Olivia rushed to her side to stop her from falling over.

As much as he hated to admit it, tomorrow would be a big day for all of them and they needed their rest.

Louis helped Anna get Diana back into Louis' car and then Anna joined her. Louis closed the door on them and took Harry aside before letting him get into the passenger seat.

"Are you- Are you okay? You haven't talked to me all night." Louis bit the inside of his cheek looking terrified of Harry's answer.

"I just wanted to give you space. I know that you were...upset earlier. I didn't want to make it worse." Harry tried to explain but he felt pathetic and like a terrible boyfriend.

"How could you make it worse?" Louis tucked a curl behind his ear.

"I don't know. The last time you got...upset you didn't even want me in the same room. I keep thinking about how I'm supposed to know you best and be the one that makes you feel better and I couldn't even name your favorite fruit." He shook his head feeling incredibly stupid.

"Baby," He cupped the younger boy's cheek. "I know you think you don't know me like you should and maybe that's my fault for not being the person you've needed me to be, but when I read your answers, you know what I thought?" He swiped his thumb over his cheek.

"I thought, yeah, you know what I do love strawberries way more than I do oranges. I thought yeah I had way more fun at the beach that one July with my family than I did getting eaten by mosquitoes camping. And I'm way more afraid of heights than I am of snakes. I'd rather crawl through snake-infested grounds than stand at the end of any tall ledge." Harry giggled a little.

"You know me better than I know myself. You know me better than anyone and I always want you to be that person." Louis smiled softly.

Harry believed him. He'd always felt that between them. He didn't want to worry about secrets and trust anymore. He just wanted to be so foolishly in love with this boy that nothing else mattered.

He kissed him like the world would end if he hadn't. He thought about what Diana said. His heart, at this moment, felt the strongest it had ever been and he was so glad he decided Louis Tomlinson was worth fighting for.

***
While we're opening up...

Let's just hope we all make it to opening night

Thank you all for your endless patience! I know the past couple of chapters have been a bit of a drag but I promise it's all leading to the spectacular, crazy, and epic ending! Just a few more chapters!!

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Love you lots!