Your Addictive Heart || l.s

Forgive and Forget

Harry had been dreading last period all day. He knew he'd have to talk to Reese sooner or later but he still wasn't ready. Should he even talk to him during their study hall? It seemed like it would be too private of a conversation to have during school, but not talking to him at all didn't seem like an option.

He set his stuff down in front of the brown-eyed boy who had been pretending to read some book. "Hey," Harry mumbled.

Reese sighed before putting his book aside. "Hi, Harry."

"Feeling better?" Harry tried starting small.

"Not really, no." He gave him a faint smile. "I missed one day in three years and I miss everything." He chuckled softly.

Harry chewed at the inside of his cheek.

"I saw you at lunch with all of them. With him." He clarified.

"I saw you at Luke's new table. I didn't want to interrupt." Harry told a half-truth.

Reese shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "For the record, I heard about what Luke did to Olivia and I told him today how uncool that was and that I didn't think we should hang out anymore."

"Oh." Harry couldn't think of anything to say. The fact that Reese was such a good guy only made this harder. "I'm sorry. I know you guys were close."

"I'm coming to realize I may not be the best judge of character." He raised his eyebrows at Harry. He couldn't take the shade anymore. He knew he was upset with him and he wished he just tell him off for it already.

"I could tell you there's nothing going on between us but I don't want to lie to you. I really do like you..." He really really hated this.

"You were never really mine anyway, were you?" He chuckled emotionless. "Can I ask why?" He leaned forward and grabbed his hands. "I know you like the guy, but do you have to get back together?"

"It's complicated." Harry's face flushed as he started to get flustered.

"I'm not. I treat you right. We have fun together. Your friends like me." He counted on his fingers. "And if you forgot about that guy for a minute and gave me a chance I think we could have something great."

Harry was completely thrown off. He wasn't expecting him to put up a fight like this. He didn't even know he liked him this much. "I wish it were that simple. Believe me, I've tried everything to get over him and I just...I just can't." Harry found himself trying to bottle the heavy emotions overflowing so recklessly at this moment.

"Can you do me a favor, then?" Reese swallowed hard. "Just don't give in right away. Give it some time. Make him prove himself." He squeezed Harry's hand.

Harry wiped a tear away and nodded his head quickly. He could do that for Reese after everything Harry had put him through. "How'd you- How'd you pick up on it so quickly? We were trying to be...discreet."

"I, uh..." He swallowed hard. "I've spent a lot of time trying to get you to look at me like that. I couldn't help but notice." He lowered his gaze.

"I'm really sorry." Harry felt uncomfortable enough with this exchange around fellow students.

"That's okay. You know, unlike one of us I know how to let go." He joked.

"Wow." Harry scoffed and chuckled at the same time. "Low blow."

"Friends, then?" He asked.

"Yeah." Harry smiled.

"I think you're buddies are waiting for you over there." He nodded his head in Zayn and Liam's direction who were clearly trying to eavesdrop.

"You mind?" Harry made sure he wasn't being a jerk by dumping the guy and then ditching him.

"It's all good. I gotta get some work done anyway." He smiled kindly.

Harry collected his things and returned to his old table. It was a good feeling. "What are you two lovebirds up to?" Harry greeted them.

"Brainstorming." The table was scattered with lists and doodles and ideas.

"He's designing my portfolio. I'm not supposed to question the process," Zayn elaborated.

"I'm not designing it. I'm organizing it. Presentation matters." He refocused his energies on the mess in front of him.

"How did it go over there with Reese?" Zayn asked while examining one of his doodles. Liam immediately snatched it from his hands and put it back where it was.

"It's good. Yeah, we both just decided to be friends." Harry assured them.

"Just friends, huh?" Liam didn't look up from his project as he used an accusatory tone with Harry.

"Just friends as in just friends?" Harry wasn't sure what Zayn was insinuating.

Then it hit him. Louis couldn't keep a secret, could he? "What do you guys know?" Harry's shoulders dropped in defeat.

"Nothing. We just...we see things." Zayn admitted.

"Really?" Harry didn't think they were that obvious for everyone around them to already pick up on it.

"So, you guys work everything out?" Zayn asked.

"Not by a long shot, but we're working on it." He nodded his head.

"And you talked...about everything." Liam used a peculiarly stern voice.

"Not in so many words." Harry hated to admit that he wasn't sure he could ever have that kind of talk. He wasn't brave enough.

Zayn and Liam both looked at each other with a certain sadness on their face.

"Harry, I don't want to tell you how to run your relationship but I think you need to have that conversation. I mean how long can you really pretend it didn't happen." Zayn put a hand on his shoulder.

"Forever." He snapped at Zayn and removed his hand. "It's just easier for me to forget than to forgive, so I'm just going to forget it ever happened."

"Wouldn't it feel better if you could forgive and forget?" Liam asked. "I know it's scary but..."

"No. You don't know anything about us!" He raised his voice just the slightest. "I can't." He grabbed his things and stormed off with no regard for what the supervisor would think.

He kept walking until he found an empty bathroom. He found himself trying desperately to catch his breath. He hadn't thought about all of that in a while. He hadn't wanted to. Why couldn't they just let him forget?

Were they all right? Was Harry being naive about this? He felt the tears pricking his eyes and knew there was only one person he could talk to at this point.

He pulled out his phone and scrolled until he found his target. The line trilled for a few seconds and then abruptly came to a halt. Harry wiped his tears and cleared his throat. "Mum?"

***
Time to be brave

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