EDENVILLE

Joe Naomi and Steve Wish You All A Happy New Year

By @naomimrshl

Three Resolutions for 2021: Dobbs, Doodle, and Twila

Porter Dobbs has a resolution
To hire Frank to construct a solution
A twirly thing that will spin Dobbs around
And keep his poor nose from bonk'n  the ground...

An invention so sound
It will keep Dipsy around!

Dipsy Doodle has used her noodle
And figured out what she needs:
A man with sturdy knees.

A man who adores her
Who doesn't have chest furr
And who will help her buy up
The Pub lease.

Twilla longs for a companion
Not a head who is a stand in.
She also want to deep dive
And find a way to franchise
Her famous drink  - the Tiki Bar Teek-ini Peek-a-Boo Martini!

And finally, she wants to brand
Her Tiki Lifestyle throughout the land!

Three folks with resolutions...
Wonder what will be the repercussions and conclusions.

Happy 2021 Folks!

By @silenttomorrows

Jeremiah Sloan, Corky and Ted Ted the Shrunken Head.

'The moon sure looks nice glowing over our little village, Corky.'

'Sure does Ted. Cigar?'

'Please'.

Corky lit a cigar and put it in Ted, Ted the shrunken head's mouth. Ted satisfyingly blew smoke from his nostrils, ears and neck.

'You know I wasn't always like this.'

'You weren't? Corky looked surprisingly at Ted's shrunken head resting on the bench beside him.

'No, I used to be a salesman in a sportswear department store.'

'Hey, that's cool man. Hey here's Jeremiah. Hi Jerry, are you gonna join us? We're bringing in the new year up here. Bourbon and cigars. What you say?

'Don't mind if I do. I got some nibbles here in my pocket, pistachio nuts, pickled walnuts and a tin of salmon if you's got an opener.'

'I gotta a Swiss penknife' Corky replied. Have you any New Years resolutions you're gonna make? '

'Hadn't thought. It's hard to make a living tinkering, thought I might try my hand at massage, like become a masseur.'

'What will you use your other hand for? Asked Ted.

'I like to kneed dough' Jeremiah said absentmindedly'

'Yeah man, we all need dough.' What about you Ted?'

'I fancy getting my pilots licence'

'Won't that be difficult?' Jeremiah asked surprised.

'Yes...but l like a challenge.'

'Hey man, they can do wonderful things with remote control now'

'They can?' said Ted enthusiastically.

'Sure can my friend' Corky continued, 'Yeah, even sex.'

There was a short silence.

'How?' Asked Jeremiah.

'Pulleys, cameras, springs, asparagus. That kind of thing', Corky informed them, 'Frank was explaining it to me the other day; it's the new thing in Belgium.'

'What about you Corky, what's your New Years resolution.'

'Man you're asking now. I'm gonna die less, think about using those new CD things on the radio station and make some apricot brandy.

'Good idea Corky.' Jeremiah agreed.

'Well said' said Ted Ted the Shrunken Head. 'Happy New Year to you all'

By @lyttlejoe

Three For The Road

The Tiki bar was empty except for the three morose customers slumped at a table in the corner. The New Year was almost upon them and they were still smarting from the events of the current year.

"Vat are you going to do, Herr Mayor?" Sid Schwinn inquired.
"I'm uncertain, my friend. The year did not go well for me. Things need to change. What about you?"
"I haff decided to exshpand my bike repair to include ze appliances of ze household."
"That'll be nice." A dozy Beulah remarked.
"Ja, I haff already repaired a toaster from ze hotel that Mrs. Woodnick threw at ze tennis man, vat's his name - Rawl."
"You're so lucky, I don't know what I'm going to do." Mighty sigh. "I have looked everywhere for Inspector Fellow and I just can't find him." Beulah emitted a hiccupping sniffle.

"I think I know what I'm going to do after all," Mayor Maynot said, lifting his Surfer's Sling and sucking noisily on the straw. "I'm going to get all my holiday costumes made up in advance as soon as the New Year begins. I'm going to hire a costumer to come in and create original designs, that's what I'm going to do!"

"What about the Bunny suit I sewed for you, Pink- Mr. Mayor?" Beulah sat up and pouted at her empty glass.
"Don't bring that up in here. That's a special occasion suit." He whispered. "Order another drink and be quiet."
"Zis rount is on me," Sid announced, weaving to the bar with his empty stein and returning with it full.
"Where's mine?" Beulah asked.
"I just bought one, now is your turn."
Sniffling again, Beulah went and ordered a Mauna Loa with a twist, a bump and a grind.

She slumped back down at the table and raised the huge drink. "I am changing my approach to men in the New Year. No more pining for those I can't find. First man into the Mayor's office in the New Year gets Beulah Underwood!" She downed half the drink before her head hit the table - out cold.

Jethro came in to see what all the noise was about and the Mayor collared him, whispering in his ear. "Would your lovely wife have any uhm, garments she doesn't want anymore. She is always so well dressed and the materials would come in very handy for my New Year's plans."

"Buy your own and as for you Schwinn, that toaster burst into flame and ruined a whole package of frozen waffles. I want my money back."
"I haff ze policy uff no refunds."
"Yeah, well I haff ze policy uff no more drinks - for any of you! It's my New Year's resolution, so out - now!"

Mayor Maynot finished his drink and Beulah's as well then helped get her on Sid's back and the trio left the Tiki Bar their social drinking futures resolved.

********

Happy New Year everyone who looked in on Edenville and shared the fun and a brief escape from 2020. May 2021 bring a brighter, happy future for all.