EDENVILLE

Dirt's a Poppin'

By @lyttlejoe

The paper's headline screamed, 'MOLEDEMIC IN EDENVILLE!' and below was Millicent Peed's editorial, imploring the populace to stay well away from earth mounds, wear waders and wash shovels regularly.

Constable Breem was tasked with putting up mole scene tape all around the park. While in his office, Mayor Maynot, red-faced, slowly hung up the phone. It turned out Edith Head, costume designer, was not related to Ted . . . Ted the Shrunken Head.

Beulah sat in the outer office hoping she wouldn't regret her own resolution.

Japonica hushed the crowd that had gathered outside her father's store, passing out free, expired, sour cream containers to those at the front.
'We must all remain calm! There is no need for poisons or ammunition to solve this environmental hiccup. Steps are being taken as we speak to correct this- inconvenience."
'Paper says it's a flamin' Moledemic!' Shouted a voice.
"What steps? Them's hills is all over the place!' A harsh demand.
'Aye, the park's lookin' like them stupid speed bumps the town put up!' Complained another.
'I can't discuss ongoing investigations but trust me, I am the environmentalist as you all know, and plans are moving apace.'
"Bloody good a violinist is,' a voice from the back was heard to mutter as the crowd broke up.

********

'By Jove, Corky I think we've done it!' Frank cheered.
'We have?'
'Yes, we have created the ultimate, Audio Talpidae Eradicator!"
'We have?"
'Yes, that sound you call music that you play after midnight produces a penetrating sonic pulse that drives underground rodents crazy.'
'It does?'
'We'll call it the, Corky Boffinski Musical Mammal Marauder. We can manufacture it in three sizes and custom colours. We can sell it over the radio too. But wait, if they order two at once, we'll include free bicycle delivery!'
'We will?'

********

Porter didn't think a mask was recommended by the Edenville Health Authority but Dipsy Doodle couldn't bear to look at his nose and she assured him it was. He asked why she wasn't wearing one and she shrugged and said she couldn't hear him.

Sid Schwinn was seen rowing his gondola on wheels, carrying a refrigerator. A trailing banner read, 'I Haf Vays Uf Fixing Your Shtuff'.

Bianca wanted to know why Jethro had all her dresses out on the bed and didn't believe for a minute it had anything to do with the mayor.

Twilla listened to the offer Sam Kemp was considering for his Pub from Dipsy and asked if he would consider a partnership. Billie Butler was becoming unhappy in the hotel kitchen because Carlos wouldn't stop mourning his fairy cake fiasco. It could be an opportunity for a competitive, fine dining spot in the village.

Sam said he'd doodle it a while.

********
A new business opened on the main street. A realtor's office, and a tall man was seen going inside.