EDENVILLE

Election Day

By @naomimrshl

Mayor Maynot sat up in his genuine replica, bicentennial Presidential four poster and surveyed his sanctuary.
After his wife had declared herself a widow (she was profoundly  opposed to) divorce), and had gone somewhere else, the Mayor had indulged in a bit of interior decorating. The result was a home that, in every respect, high-lighted his high esteem for himself... with an occasional mod for his appreciation of all things tropical.

After a thoroughly hedonistic full body stretch, he reached for his watch and noticed, with glee, that it was election day!

The Mayor let out a celebratory "YIPPEE!" as he pulled the comforter into alignment with the bed frame.
Fairly dancing through his morning ablution, his delight was such that he adorned his Election Day tuxedo and patriotic sash, with an extra medal he had found in a local curiosity shop. On the back of the silver frame was written"best in show"... which was precisely what the Mayor knew himself to be.

"I believe I'll take my breakfast at the Edenville Dipsy Diner, and start the voting from there"  he announced to his stuffed parrot, Silent Pete.

" Yes sir! That's just the thing to do! Right after I relieve Dipsy of several of her donuts!... How's that for a grand plan? "

Silent Pete agreed without uttering a sound... The vet had assured the Mayor that his parrot maintained silence due to his being stuffed and was in no pain. This was appreciated by the Mayor because he rarely wanted to hear any voice other than his own.
...........  

Dipsy Doodle cautiously turned the key that unlocked her Dipsy Diner. Trying hard to open the old aluminum door slowly (so as to not alert any varmints that had invaded her kitchen over night) without squeals from the old hinges.

She peeked into the cavity of the Airflow trailer.

This morning, it was quiet but, even as she let out a lung-full of relief, she steeled herself for the inevitable morning cleanup that was a necessity before she could begin to cook.

Just because the miserable invaders weren't there in person (or mouseson)  did not mean that they had left their pillage clean of feasting evidence.

Dipsy turned on the flickering fluorescent lights and sighed as she pulled on her rubber gloves, filled a bucket with hot water and bleach, and fired up her griddle.

.................

Mayor Maynot fairly sashayed across the Memorial Bridge and onto Main St.  His tuxedo tails flapped gaily as he pranced along the sidewalk. His tall, black top hat gleamed as it gathered early morning sunshine.
Bedecked with his official sash and several shiny medals, he was an imposing figure... suitable for Founder's Day Speeches, parades, and - of course - election day!

His preferred form of greeting, thusly garbed, was a short, bow and a tip of his hat. Flinging open the Dipsy Diner's door, he - flirtatious as a young chorus girl- treated  Dipsy with such a bow and winsomely asked about the state of her donut production.

Dipsy let out a little smile as she pointed to his favorite stool...
"Almost ready for you Mayor. Got a batch ready to come out now... sugar or glaze?" she asked as she poured him a cup of coffee and made sure his creamer was full.

"Why, Miss Dipsy, I do believe you have forgotten what day this is!"

Dipsy quickly glanced at the mayor and allowed as to how she had, indeed, forgotten. "Election day!  Cinnamon sugar! got it, mayor!"

As the mayor took his first sip of coffee, after adding a copious amount of cream from the little cow pitcher, he asked Dipsy if she would like to register her vote first.

Dipsy laughed, and grabbing the mayor's clipboard, she signed her name in the first slot.
"Hope you win, Mayor... hope you win. No one in the town looks as much like a mayor as you!"

"Dipsy, I can practically guarantee a victory! All preliminary polls say I'm a shoe in!" the mayor responded as he wolfed down a warm, fresh  donut... and then quite a few more.

..............

That evening, Mayor Maynot gave his acceptance speech, dressed in his favorite grass skirt, from the top of the tiki bar.
After treating all present to a special election day tiki-tini, someone cranked up Blue Hawaii on the jukebox and it was reported the next day that all enjoyed a real real good time.

..................

"What in Sam Hill is this claptrap?" the head of the Committee for the Establishment of Voting Regulations and Frog Crossings shouted as he slapped the newspaper that had been third down in his morning stack of headlines.
"Edenville has its own voting day? Who authorized that?
Monty... MONTY !..." he hollered into the intercom.  "Get in here Pronto!"

Almost instantly the office door was flung open and a nervous young man stood in front of the large desk - pencil and pad at the ready.

"Yes, Sir? "  Monty gasped... nose twitching and glasses refusing to stay mounted on the secretary's skinny nose.

Again, accompanied by more newspaper slapping , came the question...
"What does this mean, Monty? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??? We simply can not allow willy-nilly voting to occur without oversight and months of attention to detail!
Now you get your nervous butt on out to Edenville... where is Edenville anyway!... and find out what's go'n on! "

......................

Late that night, Mayor Maynot filed his sign up voters sheets in his genuine replica of the secret drawer in the Resolute Desk.

It was so much easier to vote this way and he was quite proud of himself for thinking it up.

Before he had taken charge, there was a chaotic election protocol that always resulted in no one quite knowing who had won... due to confusion and hanging Chads (actually, it got so bad that they had to make a law against naming a baby Chad).

So... the mayor had suggested that anyone who wanted him to be mayor should sign a petition... an official one, of course.

Furthermore, if someone should not want him as mayor.. well... they just shouldn't sign anything!

This system seemed to work quite well. Everyone  agreed that Mayor Maynot was on the ball.