EDENVILLE

Fake News

By @lyttlejoe

Mayor Maynot sat behind his mayoral desk reading the letter from the Prince's Egyptian major domo, Tan Ku Allot stating he would be arriving shortly to discuss protocols for the visit.
A quick call was made to Police Sergeant Wendell Jobb telling him to meet in the square to greet the Prince's representative, then a command to his secretary Beulah Underwood to see if the bench had been painted yet and inform the radio station.
"Going to be a big day, Pinky," he said to himself. "Big day."

**********

Porter was sick of sitting in his room the dark because of the bandages and so he slipped on a clean white shirt, left it un-tucked and departed the room for a stroll in the fresh air. Ignoring the curious stares as he made his way carefully down the ancient sidewalk, he wandered into the village square and halted as two men came rushing toward him.
"Welcome! Welcome, Mr. Tut- Tank- Sir!" Mayor Maynot rushed up and grabbed Porter's hand. "Let me introduce myself and our Sergeant of police who will be in charge of your security--"
"Mayor, that isn't--"
"Hush, Cushy, I'm trying to make an impression."
"But, Mayor--"
"What the devil's wrong with you?" Mayor Maynot turned to scold his Sergeant and saw the limousine with the elegantly dressed gentleman standing patiently waiting.
"Who's that?"
"It's what I tried to tell you, Mayor. He's the one, over there."
"Then who's this and why is he dressed like that?"
"My name's Porter Dobbs and these are bandag--"
"What a nerve! Arrest him, Sergeant, impersonating a member of the Royal entourage. And get that reporter out of here."
The chief blew his whistle and received a two toot reply as Breem came skidding around the corner.

********

Did you hear Millie Peed on the news about the latest bollox our mayor made?" Rosemary Tipplewuck asked as she taped the large photograph to the wooden pole. The Wimboles nodded, sucking teeth in unison while preparing their own placard.
"Imagine, an entertainer wants to come to town and our mayor thinks because of the name, he's royalty. Why Millie caught him out right away when he didn't know the words to Take Me Home Country Roads."
"Not only that, Rosemary," Mrs. Wimbole said, tying the black bow on her sign. "Our Garfield, who plays in the Edenville unstrung quartet, told me he was an imposter and if anyone knows about entertaining it's our Garfield."
"Well I think Millie should run for election. So, are we ready?"
"We are."
"Then let's picket." The trio marched down the street to the Admiral's house bearing large placards with pictures, one of a crushed cucumber, the other a parrot in the same condition.
Bessie, watching from her front window as Twila left, immediately prepared a plate of cookies and a pot of tea.
"Do you hear music?" Rosemary asked.
"I do . . . eerie."

********

"Japonica, there was a call from the bike repair. It's ready to pick up and the bill is thirty pounds."
"Why did he call me?"
Porter and Breem had an altercation and they are both in the clinic."

A cannon roar sounded followed by screams.