EDENVILLE

Rusty

By naomimrshl

It was difficult to discern what creaked louder : the three story staircase from the Admirals roof top, down to the first floor of the old Victorian home, or the Admiral's knees.

With each step, Rusty let out a small , angry groan..muttering along the way... "dang women! what do they think they're accomplishing with this chant'n and yell'n?"

As he reached his ornately carved front door, he stopped for a moment to peer out through the leaded glass insert of a dolphin arching above a windy sea.

"Still there!" he growled, opening the door and marching out to the group of protesting women.

Rusty held up both hands and clapped as he came close to the righteously indignant crowd of SOC members, chanting "Down with Balls!" and "Cukes deserve Protection"... there was even a sign that said "Don't forget the Artichoke!"

As he reached his picket fence that bordered the sidewalk with roses and hydrangea  - usually a peaceful spot for evening walkers who enjoyed Oleander  Lane gardens - the Admiral shouted out "Ladies! Ladies! What is your purpose here? What do you want?"

After a short huddle, Mrs Wimbole popped out from the group and  stumbled toward the admiral... stopping to straighten her skirt... she looked up at his weathered, but handsome, face and stammered out

" You may not shoot holes in things! It's against the law!"

"Madam, you insult me! It is not I who have shot holes in people's things!"

"Admiral Tanker" Mrs. Wimbole responded with amazement... "It surely Is you! The proof is absolute! The only person in this town with a cannon on their widow's walk IS YOU!"

"Madam, I have impeccable aim. The only fatal target that I've destroyed on purpose is that dang parrot....and I have a small file of thank you notes that assured me of the rightness of the deed!"

"Then who is bombing our cucumbers? Who put a hole in the church steeple? Are you insinuating it is one of us?  That's preposterous!"

"Ladies! Ladies! Fellow members of th SOC... listen up! We need to march on the Sheriff's office and call... no demand!... an immediate investigation!
A criminal curiosity has been visited upon our peaceful village!"

As the ladies lowered their posters and started to retreat back down Oleander Lane, toward the village square, a loud explosion was heard from the vicinity of the old stone bridge .

Alarmed, the ladies began to run toward the bridge. Millicent Peed slammed on her brakes to make way for the stampede of protesters.
Quickly lowering her window, she hollered out "What's going on? Where's the fire? Did you see Admiral Tanker?"

Mrs. Wimbole skidded to a halt by the little VW... with unspent umbrage, she demanded, "Millicent Peed... are you trying to cause trouble?"

"No M'am!" Milli quickly answered.. I'm just try'n to find out what is happening in this place! "

With that, the VW made a tight turn and
Millicent Peed on ahead as the ladies ran behind... and they gathered a curious crowd as they neared the old stone bridge.

There, they joined up with most everyone in town as every eye looked at the pile of rubble that used to be a bridge.

Mayor Maynot was heard to mutter... no buts or ifs about it... we have ourselves a real mystery, and we must solve it toot de suite !  Especially before Thursday!

Admiral Rusty Tanker opened up his dining room window and sat down to a tea of cucumber salad, artichoke with butter sauce, and a fine white wine.

It had been a most satisfying day.