EDENVILLE

As The Balls Bounce

By @naomimrshl

Dark days had stumbled over Edenville's usually sunny  countenance. Twilla and Millicent wrung their hands and took turns having the vapors.
Inspector Fellow's deductive tendencies took unusually emotional dips as he sensed the tension and dread in the air.
"Mayor Maynot put pickles up himself, this year!" The headlines screamed... "Due to a  dire, and mysterious cucumber shortage that had caused store-bought pickles to sky rocket !"
After Twilla spilled the beans about the Scourge of  the Evil Twins invasion, a committee, chosen by unanimous vote, made up of Inspector Fellows, Constable Breen, And Edward Fudge, was sent to beard the lions in their  lair.

With appropriate tentativity-ness, the three men approached the Victorian cottage that had been rented by the Admiral shortly after it was discovered that the widow's walk was in good order.

A Big Ben bell tone doorbell announced their intent to enter and present their inquiry. The large front door creaked open, and Admiral Tanker greeted his visitors  - accompanied by his two stalwart pugs:   Filigree and Gingerbread.

"To what do I owe this unexpected visit?" the Admiral asked.

Inspector Fellow took the lead and boldly erupted: 

"Sir, we are here to speak with you both! This is a matter of some consequence   so I advise you to cooperate without hesitation!"

Deflated, The Admiral briefly stared at the three determined Edenvilleians, then turned and moved to the bottom of the stairs.

"May as well come out, the jig is up."

Slowly, a hidden door, underneath the stairwell opened. A figure slowly unfolded up to full height. Two men, both in Admiral outfits stood side by side... no one spoke for a moment. Then the Admiral on the left said,
" Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to my evil twin brother, Crusty Tanker."

Crusty, due to his evilness, refused to shake hands and tried to kick Gingerbread when the pug approached him for a scratch.

Edward Fudge lunged to save the tiny dog and took the kick right in his neck - rendering him speechless.

Constable Breem quickly stepped into the breech and  requested the appropriate paperwork... Rusty handed it over without further incident.

It was proved a fact that, after a short, and tumultuous, gig as evil twins, on the soap opera Dusk in the Dawn, the two men had hidden out in Edenville to attempt a demented cannon ball deception.

Bessie gave testimony, at a speedy trial, that they could tell the difference (if anyone cared) by checking for loosely hung epaulets... and the Admiral whose epaulets  hung loosely pinned with Bessie's hair clip....was indeed Rusty.

It was noted by  M. Peed, during the same trial, that Crusty took particularly evil delight in whispering bad words just for the fun of it.

Without delay, two scooters were procured from the junkyard and the evil twins were escorted to the edge of Edenville and sent on their way. They were also shunned, but that was mostly for show... as no one had anything to say to either Rusty or Crusty anyway.

................

The next day, folks gathered at the bridge and the steeple to pile the rocks back into place.

All cannon balls... both real and rubber... were thrown in a hole  - a real deep hole.

There was a common, unspoken agreement never to mention the second twin invasion, in Edenville's otherwise sterling history, and everyone seemed relieved.....

Except Bessie.

She had already dug one hole - for Rusty - and brewed her special Oleander tea.. she had been so ready to help the poor man. If Bessie knew anything, it was how to identify the sick at heart and mentally troubled.

She had started on a second hole for Porter Dobbs... now,  her plans adjusted by current affairs... Bessie took to her sick bed for a few days... to think.

...............

Ancient Boo raced home. She had become alarmed after her last snazzy mar-tiki-tinni session with Twilla. Not wanting to turn into public disgrace, Boo had shifted her leisure hours from the tiki bar to the pub.

And she had just overheard some news that she knew would cheer Bessie up. 

Hopping up on the front porch roof, she found Bessie's bedroom and launched herself from the lace curtains onto the bed - startling Bessie into a screech of surprise.

Out of breath, Boo gasped out, " Finish the hole, old girl, finish the hole!  We have two new gentlemen to help!  And, while you're at it, dig a third hole for a couple crates of guns... and I believe you'll have some help with this one. We need to invite old Tom to dinner... tomorrow!   NOW!   Without delay! "