EDENVILLE

Law and Orders

By lyttlejoe

Porter Dobbs studied the smears of ointment on the thistle scratches on his face and gave the doc a forlorn look.
"When can I wash this off?"
"It's your face son but I'd give it a day."
"What about the man that walked in front of me?"
"You mean the one you ran down while reading." Porter frowned. "Wilfred's fine. He left to see if he could salvage any of the rat poison that spilled."
"Jolly good he didn't spill it on me I have an appointment to keep."
"That's right but not with whom you think."
"What do you mean?"
"Constable Breem wants a word. He's on his way."
"What's he like, this Breem."
"Ooh, Constable Breem, son. Ex of the Royal Fusiliers. Ceremony is very important with our Constable Breem it is."

Porter winced at his image in the mirror once more and sighed.
"I'm here to meet a Bessie Herford about her porcelain collection. What do you know about her?"
"Lovely old dear. Lives alone, aside from her cat and minds her business. Why do you want to see her porcelain?"
"I'm with P&PA, - Pottery and Porcelain Archives - we authenticate maker's marks on rare porcelain and pottery.
"Why?"
"Huh? What do you mean, why?"
The office door opened and Constable Breem stepped through the door, halting to attention, taking a beat and coming to parade rest.
"Doctor." A brisk nod. "Mr. Dobbs," he paused to consult his notebook. "While the victim in your reckless handling of a 1968 Hercules 3-Speed English Roadster refuses to proceed with a complaint, the Edenville Constabulary will be issuing a caution should you buy, rent or repair your existing mode of transport to the extent that you obtain permission to cycle within the village proper."
"I say . . ."
"No, Mr. Dobbs, I say" Breem came to attention and saluted. "Good day gentlemen."
"Bloody hell!"
"It will be if you disobey, son."