EDENVILLE

Panto

By @silenttomorrows
Enter Bessie dressed in rags as Cinderella, 'Oh father, I wish you hadn't taken that woman for your 14th wife.  Please will you hand me the wire brush, I have to polish the brass'

Edward Fudge, in the role of Cinderella's father Baron Hardnuts hands over the wire brush and replies, 'Well it seemed a good idea at the time, she makes nice waffles.'

'Oh father, you mustn't let your stomach rule your head, there was nothing wrong with the pancakes we used to have. Her daughters Drusilla and Paintedsilla are very mean to me'

'Oh, they are just having fun'.

'But last week they catapulted me over the river into a pig sty; I was so sore and covered in mud.  Then they hardened me under a sun lamp.  I could only walk as a penguin for three days until it rained and loosened me up. 

'Penguins are very sweet darling.' 

(Exit Baron Hardnuts)

A cackle of laughter from the side of the stage.  Enter Cinderella's step sisters Wilfred  Bodger and Peter Hobbs as Drusilla and Paintedsilla. 

'What do you call a Cinderella with watches all over her belt?' screeched Drusilla.

'I don't know, what do you call a Cinderella with watches all over her belt' shouted Paintedsilla.

'A waste of time, hah ha ha ha'. Drusilla laughed. 

'Oh Dru, you are so funny'

'So are you Paint'

They both shouted, 'what are you looking at Cinderumbrella, get back to work!

Enter Bianca as the wicked step mum, 'Marrow marrow oh my word, where is the cucumber I adore?

Carlos Monteverdi was in charge of animation props and lighting. So he made the marrow speak, 'You mean Ronaldo the tennis coach or Hudson Rock the figure skater?'

'Bianca turned bright red.  'My lovey daughters, there is news from the king, there is going to be a ball'.

The marrow spoke, 'So you do mean the tennis coach'

'Stuff that marrow Cinderella' said the wicked step mum Bianca.

'That's not very polite?' Cinderella said to the audience so the step mum couldn't hear.

'There's going to be a ball so that all the most beautiful eligible girls in the land can get a chance to land the Prince and marry him', proclaimed the step mum.

The ugly girls squealed with joy.   Then Joy, who was played by Agnes Pedderforth the Chandler, left the stage, disappointed that she had only been given such a small part in the play. 

'Ooh, scrub my bloomers, that's exciting giggled Dru, I must have a new dress'

'Your husband will have to buy us new dresses and T R Ers' Paint said to her mum.

'Yes he will,  of course Cinderella, you can't go.'

'Oh yes she can' said the marrow.

'Oh no she can't' shouted  the step mum and the two ugly sisters'

This went on for the next twenty minutes of the first act.  Exit all. 

Act 2

Widow Twankey is sitting on a bench.

Outside Cinder's house.  A young boy walks with a panto horse.  They walk by the lamppost and the horse lifts it's back leg; Carlos presses a button from the side of stage and the horse pees against the post.