EDENVILLE

Candice Fudge

By @silenttomorrows

Edward Fudge busied himself polishing his counter and straightening his watermelons awaiting the arrival of his orange blossom rose, the apple of his heart his sweet Candy Fudge. 

Candice had been on an exploratory cruise to Panama and the Middle East,in search of Turkish delight, dates and sweet succulent figs to palpitate the taste buds of Edenville villagers and also add to Fudge revenue. 

Right on cue,  but not cucumber, at 2pm, Edward heard the taxi pull up in front of Fudge's Village Stores.  As he went to the door in burst Candice, followed by the driver juggling six suitcases through the doorway. 

'Edward.... you look... have you been drinking your prune juice? Those apples need a shine, well come here then, kiss me, unless you've been taking those garlic tablets again.  Are you sure that's the right price to be selling custard powder at? Looks like we need some more of Wilfred Bodger pies, what sort of meat did you say was in them?'

As Candice paused to draw breath, Edward kissed his Candy on the cheek and said, 'Wilf's pies have high quality meat in them darling, I've stopped taking the garlic capsules and I've bought you a nice sachet of fenugreek so you can do something special with a rainbow trout'.

'Lovely. So what's been happening in the village Edward?'

'Well there were cannonballs being shot around the village, Corky died but rose from the dead a few days later, the Mayor has many admirers due to his wardrobe of fashionable grass skirts, there was a giant mole and Porter nearly died when the bubble he was in burst in the river but he didn't drown.'

'Oh good, I didn't miss anything very exciting then. Where's Japonica, I thought she would be here to meet her mother.'

'I think she's with Edith Churn down at the frog crossing.'

'I don't know why she hangs around with grave diggers.  Well I hope she doesn't get mixed up with that Morag woman, she lives near there.  Now these kippers are out of date tomorrow, but I think we can sell them for another week or two yet. Has the pickled peach and praline ice cream been selling well?'

'Not too well darling, but if you buy a triple scoop you get a free chocolate tasting flake.'

'Good. Now I must ring Rosemary Tipplewuck to see if she's finished with my trifle bowl.  Surely she has found something better for her goldfish now.'

'Yes darling' Edward Fudge had missed his wife while she was away, but was also wondering when her next expedition might start.

'Hello Rosemary? Hello, is that Rosemary Tipplewuck? Good. Hello Rosemary I'm back.  We need to catch up.  Did you get my post card. Yes yes, I know.  I wasn't supposed to end up at the Taj Mahal but I took a left in Cairo instead of a right and I didn't understand the hieroglyphics on the road signs.  Anyway, we need to get the old gang together. I think we should put on a cheese, wine and ice cream party to raise funds for the poetry society, then we can have a competition with lots of cakes and maybe some kipper sandwiches.  The village hall should be great, yes pop a notice on the notice board about the charity event and another that a poetry competition is coming.  No, I stopped wearing latex. Ok. Bye  Rosemary.  Edward put the kettle on ...'