Unsteady | ✓

Chapter 27 : Predicament

Gauri had started being distant again. Omkara was not sure why not was so. She had really not spoken much to him on the Tuesday session. After the graphotherapy she had made him fill out a form which had a title that read how do I feel? A couple of questions about the therapy and his feelings were asked. She was relatively silent throughout.

Omkara wondered if it was his breakdown yesterday that had put her off or something else. He hadn't bothered to ask. He had quietly left last evening. But today again Gauri was acting distant after he had finished the graphotherapy. He decided to question it. "Gauri, are you okay?"

Gauri looked up to meet his gaze. She had never felt so confused in her life. She couldn't decide if she wanted Omkara or not. She wasn't dumb to not notice that Omkara's behavior was changing. He was sharing everything with her. He was trying to understand her. The way he looked at her, with adoration and fondness, it drove her crazy. 

"Yeah, I am fine."

Omkara looked on, "is it about me?"

Gauri looked at him again. "No, it's something else. Anyways, let's talk about your father today?" Gauri said to get his attention elsewhere.

Omkara sat back in the couch. "I don't hold any grudge against them as such, Gauri. It's easy because they are not around all the time. When they come home, I just pretend to be like a normal son..."

"How is Rudra's relationship with them?"

"He gets super happy when they come home. He is around, mom, all the time. Dad keeps find things to taunt him and mom sort of defends him."

"What about you?" Gauri asked softly sensing the longing in his voice. Did Omkara not want that? Which kid wouldn't want his parents attention?

Omkara sighed looking up at the ceiling. "I have stopped wanting their attention. Honestly, I think I hold Choti Maa higher than my own mom. I like how Choti Maa is always there for me and Rudra."

"Have you told her that?"

"No. In direct words, never." Omkara answered thoughtfully, shifting his gaze from the ceiling to her face.

"What I share with mom is very superficial. I don't feel it. But what I share with Choti Maa...that is very different and unusual. I don't tell her but I know she knows how much she means to me. We argue, she bosses over me and you know...that's enough."

Gauri nodded,  biting her tongue. There was a strange pain she felt every time Omkara spoke about his relationships. She could see his vulnerable side. He loved his half brother but never really acted like lovable brother but instead he was always with the glares and scowls like he had told her. He loved and respected Pinky as a mother but he never gave her those words to let her know. He camouflaged his love for them, for the people he really loved.

Despite not wanting to Gauri found herself putting herself onto the picture. She stared at him with silence. Her mind started putting things together just like all the puzzle pieces. Her gaze didn't waver as it slowly started dawning like a theater curtain rolling up. Everything became as clear as a crystal. His reasons for leaving her, not listening to her. 

But what bothered Gauri more was the wonder. His way of loving was different. How would he love her? 

"Gauri!" He finally called to get her attention. He couldn't understand what Gauri was thinking. But he was sure she was thinking about him.

"Yeah, you don't find it necessary to tell Pinky aunty that you mean a lot to her?"

"No. Some relationships don't need words."