Unsteady | ✓

Chapter 11 : Outburst

"Omkara?" 

Omkara looked up to find his brother entering the room.

"Why are you sitting in the dark?" Shivaay asked, switching on the golden light lamp. He shut the door and walked upto the bed where his brother sat.

"Shivaay!" Omkara sighed. "Leave me alone for some time, please."

"You have been alone the whole day," Shivaay said sitting beside him. He could see void in his brother's eyes.  "Did you eat dinner?"

"Like you don't already, know!" Omkara scoffed knowing very well that Shivaay would have know from his secretary that he had had his dinner.

"Om, I think you should start taking counseling again." Shivaay said, peering at his brother's face.

Omkara looked away, "I am fine, really."

"Look, Mr.Iyer's session helped you earlier on. I am sure they will be of help."

"Please, Shivaay!" Omkara said uncomfortably. "I am okay really. If you're concerned about my drinking in the past few days then I won't drink. Promise."

"I am concerned about you, Omkara not just your drinking habit that seems to be relapsing."

Omkara chukled, "it's in the blood, you know!"

"Shut up!" Shivaay rebuked, exasperated. Omkara was becoming bitter day by day. Maybe Mrs. Talwar was right. Gauri was what Omkara needed.

He cleared his throat before saying, "So, did you try talk to her."

Omkara turned his head and stared at Shivaay with disbelief. "Is there something still lef tto talk about?"

"So, you don't trust ...whatever she said?" Shivaay asked doubtfully.

Omkara straightened up. "I hurt her, Shivaay! I am the villain of her life. I left her when she most needed me. How am I different from my own demons? Why would she lie after all his time?" He looked defeated, "I don't think she was lying."

"Om, why didn't you give her chance to explain herself then?"

Omkara looked away guilty. "Because... because I was scared of being hurt. I was scare that she'd lie and I would know and it would hurt me. I was fearful, Shivaay! God, I am so screwed up!"

Shivaay took a deep breath, and a silence fell. "You should talk to her Omkara." He said softly.

Omkara scoffed, yet again. "Talk about what?"

"Tell her what you felt, what you feel and how much she still means to you." Shivaay suggested.

Omkara's lips drew into a mocking smile, "there's no point in that. I am her past."

"Omkara, what if this was your second chance? Second chance at having that one person who means the world to you?"

"She won't..."

Shivaay looked away holding back himself from snapping. "So, Gauri doesn't even deserve to know that you want her back." 

A silence fell as Omkara absorbed his words. Didn't Gauri deserve to know that a part of him still belonged to her? She did. She deserved still better. "She does but... I can't go through it all again. Knowing that she's never going to... love me the same way again. I will always be he man who left her behind, who didn't trust her..."

Shivaay stared at Omkara. "Not my place to say, but you're being selfish Om. You don't even know what Gauir wants and what she doesn't. My brother was anything but scared and selfish. What have you done of yourself Omkara? "