What if

Late April (part 8)

(3rd person POV)

"Hello?" Derek asked groggily as he answered the phone. "Derek. It's Bailey." She said. "What's wrong?" Derek asked. "It's Meredith, Derek. Her sats are dropping. It won't be long. We can't do anything else. You need to come in now." Bailey said softly. It was then dereks world fell apart. "Okay." He wshipered.

He got out of the house, leaving the kids with his mom and sister. He drove to the hospital, dreading what was about to happen.

He arrived and changed into PPE gear and ran to Merediths room. "It's almost time." Richard said softly. Derek nodded and walked into the room. His heart broke even more when he saw his wife's monitor that showed her sats dropping. He grabbed onto Merediths hand and squeezed. "Meredith, I love you so much." He whispered as the tears dropped. "So much. You just relax up there. Say hi to Mark and Lexie for me. Catch up with George. I'll see you soon. The kids and I will be fine. I'll remind them if you everyday. I love you more than anything." Derek whispered. "Domt party too hard without me." He whispered as he started sobbing.

Derek was distraught. He wasn't gonna get his lifetime with Mer and get to die when they were 110 years old in each other's arms. But hell would go down before he let Meredith die without that. He climbed into bed next to Mer and wrapped his arms around her unconscious body, careful not to disturb her intubation tube. He looked outside and everyone watching, waiting.

Derek gave her one last kiss before the heart monitor flatlined, confirming what he dreaded the most.

Then he woke up.

(Derek POV)

I sat up in bed, panting, screaming and sobbing. I rocked myself back and forth, trying to control the tears. My mother bursted in the room and ran over to me. She sat down next to me on the bed and wrapped her arm around me. "Derek, what happened?" She asked. "Mom...M-mer." I said in between sobs. "Meredith is okay Derek. She's okay." Mom said quietly. "Noo. She-she died. I-I can't. N-need her." I yelled as I started to cry harder. I couldn't control myself.

"Derek, it was just a nightmare. You're okay. Meredith is okay. You won't lose her." Mom said. I nodded and hugged her tightly.

After a minute, I pulled away. "I'm not going back to sleep." I said. "That's okay. The kids will wake up soon. Take a shower. I'll make some coffee." Mom instructed. "Okay. Thank you." I said quietly. She nodded and got up.

I dragged myself to the bathroom and turned on the water. I stepped into the hot stream of water and let the water run down my body. I sighed, thinking about the times Mer and I took showers together. And it wasn't even the sex. When we washed each others hair, it was soothing. It was calming. It was our thing. I wiped away my tears and stepped out of the shower. I tossed on some clothes and walked to the kitchen, when I met my mom, sister, and kids. "Hey guys." I said, trying to mask my mood. "Hi dada!" Bailey and Ellis yelled. "Dad, are you okay?" Zola asked. I frowned and looked at her. "I'm fine Zo. Why do you ask?" I asked. "I heard you crying and screaming this morning." She said. "I'm okay Zo. Just had a bad dream." I said. She nodded and went back to her breakfast.

I saw amelias concerned gaze and ignored it. I poured myself some coffee and drank it slowly. Everything reminded me of meredtih today. Everything. "How about you kids go play in the playroom?" Mom asked to the kids. They all nodded and scurried away.

"Derek, what the hell happened this morning? I heard you screaming and crying." Amelia said. "Sorry. Just had a nightmare." I said, trying to change the subject. "What about?" Amelia pried. "Mer." I said simply. "Oh Derek." She murmered as she held her new baby boy, which also reminded him of Mer. "I can't lose her." I whispered. "You won't." My mother said. I paused and looked back at Amelia. "You know, Mer and I were gonna try for another." I informed. "That's great Der! When she gets better, I'll be expecting another niece or nephew." Amelia said. "Yeah." I said sadly. "I'm gonna go sit on the couch." I said as I left the room.

(Amelia POV)

I have never seen Derek so sad. Not even when our dad died. I know Derek is the type of guy to put aside his feelings, and it's actually good that he's letting them out and communicating. "I'm worried about him." I said to mom. "I am too dear. But we can't do anything to reassure him." Mom replied. "How are you doing amy? About this whole situation?" Mom asked. I inhaled sharply. "I don't know mom. Honestly, Meredith is the closest sister I have. She's been there for me for everything I've ever asked for. She's a good woman. She doesn't deserve this." I said honestly. "I know Amy. I know." Mom said as she brought me into a hug.

(Zola POV)

I knew my dad was really upset about mom, but I was too. And I wasn't going to show it to my siblings. "Zo, want to play?" Bailey asked. "In a minute. I'm gonna go talk to dad." I replied.

I left the playroom and walked to dad on the couch. "Daddy?" I asked as I sat next to him and snuggled into him. "What's up Zo?" Dad asked. "Is...mommy going to die?" I asked hesitantly, not entirely sure I wanted the answer. "Zo... I don't know." Dad responded honestly. "Your mom is strong Zo. She's been through a lot, and she can survive this. She won't leave you guys and me." He added. I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder. "I miss her." I said. "I know Zo. I do too." Dad said.