What if

Mid April 2020 (pt 4)

(Derek POV)

I awake from someone moving my head gently. I look up and see Meredith looking straight at me. "Hey. How are you feeling?" I asked. "Not the best." She replied, her voice raspy from the lack of oxygen. "I'm sorry." I said. She nodded. "How were the scans?" She asked. "You have pulmonary edema. Your lungs aren't doing well. We have you on supplemental oxygen at 50%." I explained sadly. She nodded again, too tired to answer.

(Meredith POV)

Pulmonary edema is not good. I've treated so many covid patients in the last 2 weeks and I've had so many die from it. "How are the kids?" I asked Derek. "Amy is watching them. They miss you." He replied. This broke my heart. All I want to do is go home and cuddle my kids. "I miss them so much." I said with a few tears rolling down my face. "Me too Mer." He replied back, wiping the tears off my face. "Once your better, we can go home and see them." He added. I nodded, feeling more exhausted than ever. "Get some rest, Mer. I'm not going anywhere." He said. "I love you." I mumbled before falling asleep into an odd dream.

I somehow managed to get onto a beach that seemed to have no one there. Huh. Where's Derek? Or Bailey? I don't know. "Meredith! I heard a familiar voice yell. I turned around and looked down the beach. Lexie? It can't be. There's no way. "Lexie?" I asked. I looked a little harder and saw her, standing far away from me. "I miss you!" I yelled. I have no idea where I am, but I'm not sad about it. But this doesn't make since. Lexie is dead. Am I dead? "I miss you too, Mer." She replied back.

(Derek POV)

Bailey woke me up when she walked into the room. "Derek, look!" She exclaimed. I looked over at Meredith, who seemed to be having some type of dream. "Lexie!" She whispered in her sleep. I looked at Bailey with a confused look. "She's dreaming about sometning." Bailey said quietly. I nodded and looked back at Mer. "We should wake her before this increases her heart rate." Bailey added. I walked over to her bed and shook her gently. She awoke with a jolt. "Lexie?" She asked, still clearly half asleep. "No Mer. It's me and Bailey." I explained. "Oh." She said sadly. "Were you dreaming about Lexie?" Bailey asked softly. She nodded. "I saw her on a beach." Meredith explained. I nodded. Meredith sounds horrible. Her voice is croaky, and she sounds generally beat. "Well, I just want to take your vitals again to see if the diuretics are helping. We took off the ice packs after your fever broke earlier, so we're hoping it stays that way." Bailey said, getting back into doctor mode. Meredith nodded, still too tired to reply.

(Bailey POV)

I read a study that said that patients with covid have pretty vivid dreams. And some of the patients have seen their passed away friends or family members, and say it means that they are one step closer to death. This study scared me, because Meredith is exhibiting the same exact symptom. I took her vitals again and studied them. "So, your pulse ox is rising which is good, your heart sounds better, but I want to get another chest X-ray soon to really see if those diuretics are working." I explained. Meredith and Derek both nodded. "The chest X-ray is in 30 minutes. I'll be back then." I said as I walked out of the room, bumping right into Richard. "Bailey, how is she?" He asked worriedly. "She's hanging in there. Heart sounds better, and I'm getting a chest X-ray soon to see if the diuretics are working." I said. Richard nodded. "That's good. How's Derek?" He asked. "He's a wreck. There's not much we can do to ease his worries, because we don't know anything." I replied. "Yeah. Well, I'll talk to you later." He said as he walked away.

(Meredith POV)

I had a really weird dream about Lexie. I miss her so much. "Derek?" I croak. His head immediately shoots up. "Can you hold me?" I asked quietly. He gives me a confused look, but nods. He climbs into bed and wraps his arms around me. Due to covid, he's not really supposed to do this, but he is in an airtight safety suit, so it's okay. Besides, Bailey hasn't yelled at him yet. "Your gonna be okay Mer. I know you feel like crap now, but your gonna be okay. You are so strong. I love you." He says into my ear. I nodded and turn around so I'm facing him. I hate the masks and his suit. He gives a big mcdreamy smile. I can tell hes worried sick. I smile back and bury my head into his chest. He puts his hand on the back of my head, holding it steady against him. I wrap one arm around his waist. "I love you so much." I said quietly before drifting off to sleep.