What if

Late april

(Derek POV)

I woke up in a very uncomfortable position from sleeping on the couch. I looked over to Meredith who seemed to be shaking. I quickly went over to her bed and put my hand on her forehead. Oh no. She's burning up. I paged Bailey and she came into the room. "What happened?" She asked. "She's burning up and shaking." I said. Bailey took out a thermometer and took her temp. "103.5." She read. "Crap." I said. She had a fever again.

"Okay. I want cooling blankets stat. We need to break this fever ASAP like we did last time." She yelled to a nurse. The nurse came bustling in with a cart full of stuff. Bailey took out a cooling blanket and replaced it with the one Meredith was gripping tightly. She put ice packs under her legs, armpits, and abdomen. "Okay. Hopefully she breaks this." Bailey said as she came over to me.

It broke my heart to see Meredith doing this bad. I'm worried sick. "Derek!" Deluca yelled. Deluca just became an attending, and he's on Merediths case. I looked over to him. "Teddy and I found this clinical trail that has an 80% chance of working. It has on 3 spots available, and we need to apply soon." He said as he handed the clipboard over to me. I skimmed it over. "Thanks. I'll look into it." I said. "Derek, she's not doing well. We all know it. This could save her life. And I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't think this was useful, you know that. Make a choice." Teddy said as she left the room leaving me and Meredith. I don't know what to do anymore.

(Meredith pov) dreaming more in detail

"Lexie?" I asked to the person standing in front of me. "Meredith?" She asked back. I smiled and ran towards her on the little beach hut. "What are you doing here?" She asked. "I don't know." I replied honestly. "I've missed you so much." I added. Lexie smiled. "I have too Mer, but this isn't real. I'm not real, the beach isn't real, the sand." She said. "I know. Mark said that too." I replied. She nodded. "Do I choose to go back?" I asked. "I didn't. If I could've I would have stayed. But you can't leave Derek and those beautiful kids of yours, so what do you want to do?" She asked. "I- I want to go back. But I want to stay with you and Mark." I said. By this point we were walking on the beach. "Meredith. Go back. Derek and the kids need you. Mark and I have been with you the whole time. I check in every so often. We're gonna see each other another time. So go back." Lexie said. "I love you." She added. We kept talking for a while on the beach.

(Derek POV)

I kept doing research on this clinical trial when I heard something come from Meredith. I ran over to her bed and stroked her hair soothingly, even though I have protective gear on. "I know Lexie." She said quietly. She's dreaming about her dead sister again. I ran out of the room and found Deluca, Teddy, Richard, and Bailey. "Do it. Sign her up." I said sternly. Deluca and Teddy ran to the computer to sign up. "What made you decide?" Richard asked. "She's talking about Lexie again." I said quietly. Bailey and Richard just looked at me. "she's dreaming about Lexie again I think." I added. They nodded in sympathy. "I'm gonna call Amelia and check on the kids." I said.

I went into a supply room and took out my phon and FaceTimed her. "Derek?" Amy asked through the phone. "Hey Amy. How are the kids?" I asked worriedly. "They're all doing great Der. Bailey just lost that tooth." She said happily. "That's aweosme. Thank you so much for watching them Amy. I'd come home, but I just can't leave Mer. How's scout?" I asked. "He's doing good. He's definitely a daddy's boy. Reminds me of you. How's Mer?" She asked. Her and Meredith are pretty close. "She's dependent on 50% oxygen through a nasal cannula. She sleeps most of the day. Today she was dreaming about Lexie again. We're getting her into a clinical trial." I explained. She nodded. "Whos Lexie again?" She asked. "Lexie was her sister. She died in the crash." I said sadly. "Is that daddy?" I heard Bailey ask. "Do you wsnt to say hi?" She asked him. "Yeah!!" He yelled. She placed the camera down so that all 3 kids were in frame. "Hi daddy!" They all yelled. "Hey guys! How are you?" I asked. "Good. How's mama?" They asked. I inhaled sharply and thought about how to word this. "Mama is getting help. She's gonna be okay. How about when we get home, we all snuggle on the couch and watch movies?" I suggested. They all nodded. "Okay kids. Bed time." Amelia said. They scurried off. "I gotta go Der. Update me on Mer?" She asked. "Sure." I said as she ended the call.

I walked back to Merediths room and found Bailey and Richard in there. "What's going on?" I asked. "I've know Meredith since she was a child. I watched her operate on her dolls in the galleries. I took her down to the cafeteria for cookies and milk. I helped her get over her fear of the film room because she thought that was where we kept the skeletons. I've watched her become a surgeon, a wife, a mother, and a chief." Richard said. I smiled at the thought of Meredith as a kid. Richard and Bailey sat down on the chairs around her bed and I did the same.

(Meredith POV) dream

Lexie and I were sat down on the log talking when all of a sudden Bailey, Richard, and Derek all sat next to us. They didn't say anything, but I know they were here with me. I have to go back.