What if

Early may (part 1)

It's been almost 3 weeks since Meredith was placed on the vent, and there hasn't been any positive change. Her sats aren't getting any better and her heart is starting to fail.

(Bailey POV)

For the last 3 weeks, I've been working tirelessly on covid patients, one being Meredith. She really isn't doing well, and that's putting it nicely. Her heart is failing. Covid has gotten to it and it's putting Wha too much strain. It's causes her lungs to fail too. She's circling the drain, and Teddy thinks we may need to do a transplant.

I gathered around merediths room with Deluca, Teddy, and Richard and we discussed her plan. "I Honeslty think she needs a transplant. Her sats are dropping drastically more and more everyday, and her heart is failing." Teddy said. "But will she be at a higher risk for post op infection?" Richard asked. "Not necessarily. She will be in an icu room that only staff members will be allowed in. Derek will not be able to go in, which he will not be happy about but it's for safety. She's already intubated and in a coma. We can't do anything more to stop her sats from dropping." Teddy explained. "Damn." Richard muttered as he looked at my broken intern. Former intern I should say. "Okay." He agreed. "I'll schedule the surgery for tomorrow. Someone tell Derek." Teddy said as she left.

(Derek POV)

I was at home with the kids today again when I was got a phone call. "Hello?" I asked. "Derek. It's Bailey." She said. This reminded me of that dream. "What's wrong?" I asked, my voice coming out shaky. "Merediths heart is failing. We think she needs a transplant. I think you should come in and look over her labs and tell us what you think." Bailey said. "A transplant?" I exclaimed. "Yes Derek. Come in soon." Bailey said as she hung up.

"Derek, what happened?" Mom asked as she came into the kitchen. "Meredith needs a heart transplant." I said, terrified. "What?" Amelia yelled as she came into the room. "I-I don't know. The virus got to her heart and it's failing. I gotta go in." I explained. "Oh Derek." Mom murmered as she brought me into a hug.

I pulled away after a moment and I left the house and drove to the hospital, dreading what I was about to see again.

I put on all of my PPE and entered the covid ward. "Derek." Bailey said. She waved me over to her and more attendings and I walked over. I looked in Merediths room and my heart broke again. I can't stand seeing her this vulnerable. She looks so small in the hospital bed. I read the stats written on the window and marveled at how low they dropped, considering she was in a coma.

Teddy handed me her chart and I thumbed through it thoroughly. "I want to get a CT and an EKG." I declared. "Okay, but we have to do it now. I already called the transplant people and she's on the list." Teddy said. I nodded and we walked into Merediths room. I moved some hair out of Merediths face and kissed her forehead through my mask. Bailey disconnected her from the stationary vent for the mean time and hooked her up to the portable vent.

I held her hand as we rolled her into the CT. Deluca and I transferred her over to the CT bed. We exited the room and moved in to the scan room.

"How are the kids?" Richard asked. "Their good. Zo is smart though. She knows what's going on." I explained. They nodded sympathetically and Merediths scans came up. "See? Her heart is failing drastically."  Teddy said as she pointed to the scan to show the change. "Shit." I said quietly. "Okay. We need to do this as soon as possible. I'll talk to more transplant coordinators, and someone start her on pre op medication. I don't know when this will happen but I want her to be ready when it does." I said, popping back into doctor mode.

Everyone scattered and we brought Meredith back to her room. I sat by her in the room as I made calls to various transplant companies. I looked up when I heard Merediths monitor shriek, indicating her increased heart rate. I jumped up and grabbed her hand. "I'm here Mer. Relax. You're gonna be okay." I whispered, even if she couldn't hear me. Surprisingly, her heart monitor went back to normal, like I calmed her down. Maybe she could hear me after all. I kept talking to her for a while after that.

(Meredith POV) coma state

One minute I was awake in my bed and doing good, the next I'm at the beach again, and I feel stuck there. Normally I can go back, but I've been here for 3 weeks.

So far, I've seen Lexie, George, and Mark, and I'm happy I got to see them, but I really want to go back. I miss Derek and the kids more than anytning in the world. But it feels like I'm not in my body.

"Meredith." A familiar voice said. I turned around and gasped. "Mom?" I asked. "Yes Meredith. What are you doing here?" She asked. "Covid." I said simply. "Mom I want to go home." I added. "Meredith, you are in a medically induced coma." Mom explained. "But I want to go home. I miss Derek and the kids." I said, feeling my heart rate pickup.

I heard someone talking in the back of my head. "I'm here Mer. Relax. You're gonna. Be okay." Derek said. Derek. Derek is here. It's all okay. "Meredith, your in a coma that they induced. Only the doctors can take you out." Mom said snarkily. "I miss my family." I whispered as tears fell. Mom surprised me when she walked up to me and brought me into a hug. "I know you do." She whispered into my ear. "I want to go back." I repeated.

Sorry, this chapter is kinda lame!! Next chapter will be better!