What if

Late april (part 3)

(Derek POV)

"Slow Meredith." I warned as she gulped down water greedily. She pulled her lips away from the straw and laid back. "How do you feel?" I asked. "Good. How are my patients?" She asked. I chuckled at this, she's always putting her patients first. "Which ones?" I asked. "Joseph Cardman? Kathy Poll?" She said. I sighed. "Joseph didn't make it. His family got to say their goodbyes though. Kathy is on a ventilator in the icu. It doesn't look good." I said sadly. Meredith frowned. "I'm sorry Mer." I said. "This sucks. When can I leave?" She asked as Bailey and Teddy came into the room. "Your lung improvement has gone up. Keep going that way and you can go home soon." Bailey said. Meredith lit up and smiled. "But, don't overdo it. Your body is still weak." Teddy added. Merediths smile dropped and she nodded as they left the room

"How are the kids?" She asked. "Their doing well. Amy has here hands full, but their good." I replied. She smiled and sighed in relief. "I can't wait to go home and see them." She said. "I know. Me too." I replied. I opened my mouth to say something when my pager went off. "Damnit. I gotta go Mer. I love you, stay safe please." I said as I ran out the door to find my patient.

(Meredith POV)

I really hate being a covid patient. It's really lonely. I know I have Derek and all my friends, but it's not the same through all these suits and masks and stuff. And I really miss my babies. Now I'm alone, with nobody in my room. Not to mention I still feel like crap.

"Can I come in?" A voice said as she door opened. Tom koracick came in in a wheelchair. He wheeled himself over and looked at me with a sad expression. "Sometimes I feel like this isn't going to get any better." He said. The tears forming in his eyes made me want to cry. "I know. Come here." I said as I held my hands out to him. "I won't tell if you won't tell." I said quietly. He smiled and grabbed my hands and put his head down and cried. I couldn't stop the tears from coming too. I really want to go home. We cried for a good 15 minutes together before Tom had to go.

After Tom left, I was alone yet again. I sighed deeply before hearing a code alarm in the room across from me. I looked over and saw no one in the area at all. I couldn't help my doctor mode from kicking in, so I got up out of bed, pulled my iv out, and walked out the door slowly. It was weird standing for the first time in a week.

I walked into the patients room and felt for her pulse, which wasn't there. I started cpr and that's when the nurses came in. "Dr Grey, get back in bed. The code team will be here soon." The nurse scolded. I ignored her and kept preforming cpr. The nurses came over and helped. "Get me an intubation tube." I ordered. She handed me over a tube and I carefully navigated it down her airway, and bagged her. I hooked it up to the ventilator and slowly walked back to my room. "Dr Grey, what the hell are you doing? Get back to her." Helm ordered as I was exiting the room. "You should get me a wheelchair." I stammered out before everything went black again.

(Derek POV)

I finished working on my patient with Teddy, Richard, and Bailey when we all got a page. I looked at my pager and gasped. "Meredith." I said. Everyone else for the same page and I dashed up to Merediths room.

"What happened?" Bailey asked as we met up with deluca and helm outside her room. "She decided to resuscitate a patient across the hall and she collapsed. Her lung function has gone way down." Deuces said.

Teddy came out of her room and frowned. "I think it's time." She said. No. No. No. this is what we were trying to avoid. "I think we need to put her on the vent." Teddy added. "She didn't want one." Bailey said. "If it's last resort she said she'd have one." Richard said. "She's getting one. It's my choice." I said. Teddy nodded. "Let's bag her and get her to an ICU so we can hook her up." Teddy said sadly. Deluca and Teddy went into her room and I watched as she put a tube in her mouth, and it broke my heart. "She'll be okay, Derek." Baileys said quietly. "That woman's been through so much, and she's survived it all. Covid is just a lil bump in the road." She said quietly. I nodded and tried to keep the tears at bay. Teddy and deluca came out, with deluca rhymically squeezing the bag and Teddy pushing. I came to the side of her bed and grabbed her hand.

We rolled her down the hall and into the icu room, where many other covid patients were. We got her situated in a room, and hooked up to the ventilator. She looked so small, so fragile in the bed. She's already small, and it's a miracle she could look smaller. Everyone else left the room, leaving only me and Meredith. I grabbed her hand. "Please come back Mer. I need you. The kids need you. Everyone needs you. Please don't die." I whispered shakily. I hated seeing her with a tube down her throat. It reminded me of the bad times. The drowning, liver surgery, even the shooting. I let my guard down and let the tears roll down my face. I sobbed and sobbed. I need my wife to be okay. I need the mother of my children to be okay. I need the love of my life to be okay. "I love you Mer." I said in between sobs. I bowed my head and rested it on her head, crying.