WITH YOU - haechan

| 43 |

—WITH YOU
unedited

Donghyuck slowly entered the room, quietly shutting the hospital room door behind him to allow him and Rinyoung some privacy from the boys— who shamelessly watched their every move through the room window.

"Hey," He greeted, trailing over to the left side of her bed, shoulders slouched and arms tense.

"Hey," The raven-haired girl replied, pursing her lips into a tight thin line in  attempts of a smile. She momentarily looked up and locked eyes with him, before averting her gaze back to her hands. They sat on her lap, her fingers picking at one another with anxiety.

Donghyuck's eyes raked over the blood that pricked her index finger. He watched as she continued to habitually fiddled with her fingers, nails softly and harshly grazing across her skin. He couldn't take it anymore.

He plopped himself down in front of her, his hand leaving his side and resting atop of hers to stop her actions.

"Rinyoung," He whispered, trying to gain her attention, but she was stubborn, leaving her eyes to the white bedsheets. "Rin," He tried once more, and finally succeeding as her head lifted, letting her eyes meet his and pool delicately.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, but he knew a mere murmur wasn't the best he could do for her, so he tried again as his apology should be louder than the disrespect he had shown her. "I'm sorry," He spoke in a loud, unwavering voice, though it sounded like his everyday tone, cold and rugged, his true emotions of guilt and self-resentment began to peak through. It was like a bright sun emerging from grey clouds after a long storm, and it felt like it as well, almost as if security washed over the female in that moment.

"God, I know I'm an asshole and I admit that I had even gone further than I had intended to. And I don't want to make a lame excuse for my words and actions as they don't have one. It's simply just that I was angry, I was angry that you saw through me. That all my efforts of hiding my fears were gone to waste, seeing you name each and every insecurity of mines. And I felt fragile in that moment. I don't like feeling that way, feeling vulnerable and naked in front of you, because who am I to place something as heavy as that on you with no transaction?"

"Stop right there," Rinyoung interrupted, removing her hand from under his and placing atop it, feeling that he was in need of comfort instead of herself.

"Never, ever think that pouring your heart out is draining me. I would love for you to tell me each and every bad thing about you, and still allow me to call you my soulmate. And I forgive you. Though it pained me in the moment, I realized what you had said about me is true. I have no clarity of myself, and I have been relying on my surname for my whole life as it had always placed an image on me that I had to fulfill. And no, I don't resent you for telling me the truth, though you could have worded it differently, at least now I am aware that it's finally time to be my own person. But really, I forgive you, I said many things as well and I apologize for making you feel the way you did, and of course slapping you. Everyone makes mistakes, but I don't want to make it the reason why I give up on you, and us." A lopsided grin stretched across her lower face, showing that she was genuine about her words.

Hearing her last sentence made the boy's heart clench and plummet to his stomach. He felt awful, who was he to hurt this woman? She still smiled at him, even after he had called her every horrible name under the sun.

He felt tears prickling his eyes from finally being accepted, and not left.

She didn't leave him like the other people did after he made a mistake. She accepted his apology and wished to stay to hear all of the contents of his mind.

She was an angel. He swore he could feel his heart steady and his body ease at the thought of finally, just finally being possibly loved.

But for some reason, his subconscious couldn't believe it. In that moment, it didn't allow him to feel human.

Donghyuck clicked his tongue sadistically, he removed his hands from hers. The boy scooted back and created space between them making the girl's smile falter significantly into a frown.

"You don't need me. You never needed me. You're a good woman, and you deserve a good man. You deserve better, hell you deserve all the good things the world has to offer—" he rambled, feeling unsure of the words that fell off his tongue but what else could he do, all he said was true. Rinyoung didn't accept it though.

Interjecting his sentence, she raised her voice to gain his attention, "Donghyuck. Shut up," she scooted forward, until her knee touched his, making him looking up into her round dark eyes.

"Stop trying to bury yourself in dumb excuses that I deserve better. I don't want better! I want you!" She exclaimed, clasping her hands to his cheek, making sure that his eyes stayed solely on hers. And as if his heart couldn't break any further, she began to cry. "Y'know I-I always have to ask for opinions on what I do, and I spend an hour staring at the same damn fabric I wear every day! You know I can never choose anything. And I never know what I want, but with you, I am damn sure that I want you."

She choked on her sobs, making the boy's hands itch.

"Don't you get it? It's you. It's been you for the past few months of my life! Since the very moment, I saw you in that grimy alleyway with the others! Or when it's 6 am or 6 pm. It's you when I wake up, it's you when I study. You are everywhere and everything! It's you, it's always been you you you."

Being overwhelmed with so many different emotions, he couldn't hold back any longer. His right hand reached out and cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing away the beads of despair that rolled down from her honey eyes.

"Before I thought I loved my life, I thought it was perfect, but honestly now that you're here, it obviously feels like my life is actually worth living." She cried, staring deeply into his chocolate orbs that didn't dare look away. "So, stop trying to push me away. It's not up to you whether I leave or not, and I certainly choose to stay." She sniffled, eyes becoming puffy and the very button of her nose reddening.

Donghyuck could only gaze at her in awe, as she removed her hands from him and began to wipe her tears herself, as she laughed at the image of her crying in her mind.

At that moment he knew, he found himself a keeper.

I really enjoyed writing this, and I hope you enjoyed it too