It's been a long time

Chapter 14

Meredith 22, Derek 23

Throughout the first year of med school, Meredith became more and more stressed. From school work to tests, Meredith was in over her head. And she was taking her stress and anxiety out on her friends.

One day, a few hours before a test, Meredith felt herself grow stressed. She tried to ease her mind, but it just kept racing. She was standing in the living room when it happened. "Mer?" Derek asked. Meredith couldn't respond. She was panting, gasping for air. "Meredith? What's wrong?" Derek asked from the kitchen. "Can't breathe." Meredith gasped before her legs buckled and she collapsed to the ground. Derek caught her right before she hit the ground and cradled her in his arms.

"Mer? Your pulse is racing!" Derek exclaimed as he put his fingers on his carotid artery. "Meredith. It's just me, Derek. Just relax. I'm here." Derek murmered, trying to calm her down. "It's okay. Everything's okay." He said. He felt her pulse slow down slightly and she relaxed in his arms. "Mer?" Derek asked softly. "I'm okay." She said, her voice shaky. "What happened?" He asked. "I-I don't know. I was worried about the test today and I just..." She trailed off. "Okay." Derek said softly. "Can you stand up?" He asked. "Yeah." Meredith said. Derek helped her up and wrapped a protective arm around her waist and led her to the kitchen when he sat her down.

"You okay?" Derek asked. "I think so." Meredith replied. "Mer, has this every happened before?" Derek asked wearily. "Yeah. In high school a few times. When my dad left it happened a lot." Meredith answered. "I think it was a panic attack." Derek said softly. "Probably was." Meredith said as she put her head on the counter. Derek put a cup of tea in front of her and sat down next to her. "Do you have anxiety Mer?" Derek asked. "Not diagnosed. But I'm sure I do." Meredith sighed. "Well, not to stress you out but we gotta go to the lecture room." Derek said. "Okay." Meredith said as she took a deep breath. She stood up and her and Derek made their way to the next building over.

Before they entered the building, Derek stopped her. "You know your stuff Mer. Don't doubt yourself." Derek said softly. He pressed his lips to hers and then enveloped her in a big bear hug. "I love you." He said into her ear. "I love you too." Meredith said with a shuddery breath. They walked into the building hand and hand and began taking their test.

A few hours later, they finished the test and met up again at the car. "Hey guys! How'd it go?" Mark asked as he joined Addison, Derek, and Meredith. "Good. " Derek and Addison said. "Good." Meredith said quietly. Derek knew she was doubting herself by her quiet tone.

Mark and Addison got into their car and drove off. They agreed to meet at a nearby restaurant to celebrate. Derek and Meredith were still standing outside of their car when mereditj burst into tears. "Mer." Derek said in confusion as he brought her into his arms. "I-I can't." Meredith cried.

"Cant what?" Derek asked softly as he brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "She-she was right." Meredith cried. Now Derek was really confused. "Who was right?" Derek asked. "Mom." She said. "I-I'm not good enough." Meredith stammered. Dereks heart broke. He knew Ellis was a cold cruel woman, but he didn't know how deeply Ellis words affected Meredith. "Hey." He said sternly as he tipped her chin up and forced her to look him in his eyes. "You are good enough. You're better than enough. Don't let what she said to you affect you. You know it's not true. Mer, you're younger than me, Addy, Mark, but you are smarter than us. We all know you are. You gotta have a little confidence in yourself." Derek said. "You need to believe in yourself. We all do, now it's your turn." He said genuinely. Meredith smiled, and her tears turned to happy tears. She was so lucky to get a guy liek derek.

"Okay?" He asked softly. "Okay." Meredtih whispered back. "Now let's go get some lunch." He said. Meredith nodded and they got into the car to drive away.

Once they got there, they joined Mark and Addy at the table and sat down. "Here's to future surgeons!" Mark said as he held up his beer to cheer. Everyone lifted up their drinks and clanked them together with a laugh.

After a good lunch, the four kids decided to go back to Meredith and addisons dorm. Derek excused himself from the room when his mother called.

"Mom?" He asked. "Derek. How's everything going?" Carolyn asked. "It's good." Derek replied. "That's good." Carolyn said. After a short pause, Derek asked "Mom? Can I ask you something?" "Sure Derek. What's up?" Carolyn asked. "How do people generally deal with anxiety? Like severe?" Derek asked. "Why? Do you have anxiety?" Carolyn asked, getting concerned. "I don't. But Meredith does. She had a panic attack this morning I think due to a test." Derek explained. "Aw poor Meredith. Is she okay?" Carolyn asked. "She's okay. I calmed her down but she said it's been happening for a while." Derek replied. "Okay. Well she can take some medication, usually prescribed or over the counter, she can go to a therapist. Maybe just talk to you about her day and her feelings." Carolyn suggested. "Okay. Thanks mom. What do you think she should do?" Derek asked. "Derek, the poor girl has been through a lot of childhood trauma. I'm no shrink, but I think she should go to a therapist." Carolyn said honestly. "Okay. Thanks mom." Derek said. "No problem Derek. Tell everyone I love them and that I'll see them soon." Carolyn said. Derek smiled. "Okay. Love you." He said as he hung up the phone.

This chapter is kind of a filler. If anyone has any ideas for future chapters I would love to  hear them.