It's been a long time

Chapter 34

During the next few weeks, Meredith had been a shell of herself. She wasn't talking much to anyone, and Derek, Addison, and mark were sure that she slipped into a depressive state.

Meredith on the outside managed to hold herself together, but on the inside she was falling apart. What thatcher said really hurt her. She knew, she knew that she wasn't ever going to be loved by him like a father, but she allowed herself to have that tiny bit of hope that she would be.

But no. Meredith destroys things. She kills people. She's worthless. She felt worthless.

And it was starting to show, not only to her husband and friends, but to her colleagues. They all noticed her somber and passive behavior. They knew she was struggling to hold herself together. But they didn't know how to help.

One day Meredith and Derek were sitting at home on the couch, with Meredith sitting a considerable distance away from Derek. She didn't want to go near him. She's incapable of love, and she didn't want to hurt him. "Mer?" Derek asked in concern.

Meredith looked at him and then lost eye contact. "Meredith, I know your hurting right now. Tell me what I can do to help." Derek said softly. "Leave." Meredith whispered. "What?" Derek asked in shock. "Leave." She repeated, breaking her own heart.

"Meredith-" Derek started. "Leave!" She yelled. "No, I'm not gonna leave you." He said calmly as he moved to sit next to her. Meredith tried to inch away, but Derek wasn't having it. "Why do you want me to leave?" He asked quietly. "I-I can't. I'll hurt you. I'm-i ruin everything." Meredith said as tears fell down her face.

"Is this about what thatcher said?" Derek asked softly. "It's all true. I-I hurt everyone in sight. I'll never be anything." Meredith said. Each confession Meredith said completely and utterly broke dereks heart. It hurt him to know that she believed what thatcher said and that she had such low confidence in herself.

"Hey." Derek said firmly as he tipped her chin up, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "You are everything to me. You haven't hurt me. You don't ruin anything. You deserve to be loved, okay? Thatcher said some horrible things. And none of them are true. You have a ton of people who love you." He said softly.

"I'm sorry." Meredith cried. Derek couldn't stand watching her cry anymore and pulled her into his arms. She tried to pull away at first, but realizing Derek wouldn't let this go, she let him hold her and cried into his chest. "You're a fantastic women and doctor Meredith. Domt believe what he says. You are an extraordinary person." He whispered into her ear.

Meredith continued crying for a while as Derek held her. He was happy to hold her and offer her some comfort. At least she was letting some of her feelings out. Derek tried to shift to get to a more comfortable position. "Don't leave me." Meredith begged In a small voice.

"I'll never leave you Meredith. You're the love of my life. Your stuck with me forever." Derek said calmly, causing another round of tears to erupt.

Derek turned when he heard a quiet knock on the door and saw addison peek her head through. Derek gave a small thumbs up. Addison immediately saw Meredith sobbing uncontrollably in dereks arms and took a step forward. "Do you want to talk to Addison?" Derek asked quietly. Meredith nodded and let go of him.

Derek went to the bedroom to let the girls talk. "What's going on Mer?" Addison asked. "I feel worthless." Meredith said emotionlessly. "Why?" Addison asked. "I- he." Meredith said before choking back a cry. Addison rubbed her friends back soothingly. "Thatcher?" Addison guessed. Meredith nodded. "Honey, you have to stop believing what he said. You are not worthless. So, are you telling me you need a few days to compose yourself, or are you telling me your done?" Addison asked.

"A few days." Meredith replied. "Mer, I'm going to suggest something your not going to like." Addison said. "What is it?" Meredith asked. "I think you should go to therapy. Not because you need it, but because I think it will help." Addison said softly.

Meredith stared at her for a moment before nodding. "Let's be honest, I do have daddy issues, don't I?" Meredith asked with a raspy voice. Addison chuckled. "You do. And I think it'll help. I can set up an appointment for you if you want." Addison offered. Meredith nodded. "Okay. I have to run, but I'll set that up and tell you the date, okay?" Addison asked.

"Okay." She said. "Alright. Remember Mer, we all love you, okay?" Addison asked as she hugged her. "Thank you." Meredith replied as she watched Addison leave.

Meredith walked up to their bedroom and plopped down on the bed and curled up next to Derek. "Addie said I should go to therapy." She whispered. "Do you think you should?" He asked. Meredith nodded. "Then I'll be there with you every time. I'm proud of you." Derek said as he held her close. "I love you." He whispered. "I love you too." She replied.

Hey guys!!
Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and if you have any ideas, feel free to drop them. Hope your all doing well!