The Warden Doll

Chapter 24

Playing with Fire

Nakakatawa kasi disido kong sinabi na ite-train ko na ang sarili ko sa pag-gamit ng apoy kagabi pero ngayon na magte-train na ay takot na takot ako. Well you can't blame me, I almost died because of fire you know? Mag-isa lang ako ngayon sa training room, Rowena insisted that she'll help me pero for now she needs to take care of his injured brother which I totally understand. Kaya ngayon, I'm training alone which I totally need since I also need to face this trauma of mine, alone. 

I breathed in and breath out then breath in again to calm my nervous heart then after I have the courage to summon the fire, I summoned it. My heart beat's raising again when I saw the burning fire that almost killed me, umiling-iling ako at muling kinalma ang sarili. Rowena gave me a piece of advice not to fear the fire 'cause I own it, that I should not think about how the fire almost devours me, I should think about how I devoured the fire that almost killed me. Nu'ng una 'di ko gets pero buti na lang she explained it, sabi n'ya if I didn't devour the fire that almost killed me, then in the first place I won't be able to summon it. And that actually helps me a lot since in the first place I didn't consider it as mine. I remember when my mom told me that commands are like your kids and you're their parent, so if you do not consider your command as yours, it'll rebel and it will be out of your control. Kaya eto ako ngayon, owning the fire I don't know where came.

Muli akong huminga ng malalim at inipon ang lakas papunta sa kamay ko at sa hindi inaasahan ay lumipad ako. Napaigtad ako nang bumagsak ako sa lapag at natulala sa ceiling ng training room, the burning fire that I was holding blasted causing me to fly and hurt my back. Hinahabol ko ang hininga ko na umupo at humawak sa nagwawala kong puso, I couldn't help but panic during that time kasi akala ko masusunog ako and instead of feeling scared that I might get burned, I want to feel that warmth sensation again. 

Ilang beses ko itong sinubukan uli at iisa lang ang nakukuha kong resulta, ang tumilapon. Inis kong tinali ang buhok ko nang mapansing unti-unting tumataas ang temperatura ng kwarto, pinunasan ko ang pawis sa noo at leeg gamit ang kamay atsaka ito winisik sa lapag. Oo, dugyot pero wala na akong pake. Hinubad ko na rin ang blazer ko pati na rin ang ribbon at muling pumwesto. As if I was in a loop, I did that again and again hanggang sa hindi na ako makahinga sa init.

Naghihingalo akong lumabas habang tinatanggal ang tatlong butones ng blouse ko, I need oxygen! Nang tuluyang makalabas ay nilanghap ko agad lahat ng malalanghap kong fresh air at para bang nakakakawala ako sa selda dahil idinipa ko pa ang dalawang kamay ko. This is fresh air. Tanging naisambit ko habang pinapakiramdaman ang malamig na simoy ng hangin.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?" Napatalon ako sa gulat at nakangiting pagmumukha ni Maximo ang bumungad sa'kin.

"Ikaw lang pala." Hawak sa puso na sabi ko.

"You're letting your guard down a lot these days huh?" Pasok ang kamay sa bulsa na sabi nito na ikinailing ko.

"I also don't know what's happening to me." Pansin ko nga na madalas nga akong nagugulat these past few days at hindi ko rin alam ang dahilan. I have my command back, it's in different element though.

"Pero ano nga ginagawa mo rito?" Balik tanong nya.

"Ah, nagte-training." Sagot ko at napatingin sa sariling kamay.

"The training room seems too humid and as far as I know ice is your command." Kinabahan ako sa lintanya n'ya dahil baka agad n'yang mabisto ang sikreto na kami-kami lang nila Rowena ang nakakaalam. "'Wag mong sabihin you're doing a physical training kaya naging humid ang training room?" 

"Hehe, parang gano'n na nga." Ninenerbyos na saad ko.

"What a passionate kid." Naiiling na sambit na lamang nito na ikinangiwi ko. "Ah by the way, do you remember that time when you were with your dad?" Nabaling naman ang atensyon ko sa kan'ya nang ito'y muling magsalita.