Locked Away // Negan

Chapter 20

"Carol asked you to kill Alpha?" I raised an eyebrow confused. He looked over to the left and saw about a dozen or more walkers coming at us.

"There isn't any time for me to explain right now, just come with me and I'll tell you everything later." He held his hand out for me to take. Hesitation took over as I gave this some thought. Yes I could stay here and die or go with him and possibly die too. A sigh left my mouth deciding to take my chances with him. Once putting my hand into his he smiled and took me with him.

On the way he grabbed the head of Alpha which confused me. We ran for what felt like forever until stopping in front of an old abandoned looking tool shed. He closed the door behind us and put his finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet. I rolled my eyes and sat down up against the wall. Of course during a war with walkers, I'm stuck here with Negan instead of helping.

He sat next to me as he looked down at the ground. Silence took over us and all I could feel in this moment is fear. It makes me so uncomfortable sitting here looking at the head of alpha. He had set it down in a bag across the room. I mean no I'm not physically looking at it but the memory is there. A few minutes had passed when he spoke up.

"Nova I'm sorry," he apologized. Nothing left my mouth. It felt like no words were possible to speak in this moment and so he continued. "I know you hate me right now and I would too if I were in your shoes but you need to know why I did this-" he didn't get to finish that because I immediately cut him off.

"You did it because you're selfish and don't care about anybody but yourself!" I glared. The anger inside me is starting to show and it's not good. I'm afraid of saying something I don't mean in the heat of the moment.

"I did this for you," he admitted. "I was scared and wanted to gain everyone's trust back. But none of it was worth it if that means I lose you."

My heart started pounding at his words and I looked away. It's unbearable to see him right now. I'm gonna need some time to think about things and with everything going on, thinking is kind of hard to do. It's hard to trust anything he says after everything he's done. I've forgiven his past because he was doing what he thought would protect his people. But that's not the case now.

What makes this all so much harder is that I've fallen in love with him. He clearly doesn't feel the same way. If he's willing to leave me without a goodbye like that then what am I really to him? The thought of him not loving me breaks my heart into pieces? "I'm not saying I forgive you but if we don't make it out alive there's something you need to know," I looked over at him to see he's already staring at me.

His eyes pierced into mine and it made my heart skip a beat. "What?" He asked, anxious for the answer.

"I love you, Negan...I'm not sure when it happened but being with you and spending time with you makes me happy. A kind of happy I haven't felt in a long time." I finally let out. He didn't say a word but he also didn't look shocked by this either. Come to think of it I can't read what he's thinking. The silence is starting to kill me.

No words left his mouth as he let a smile creep it's way onto his lips. It confused me. Suddenly he cupped my cheek in his hand and pulled me into a rough and hungry kiss. Even though it surprised me at first I kissed him back with just as much hunger and passion. I'm the most bipolar person in the entire world even though I'm still mad at him.

It felt like the world had stopped but sadly it didn't when we heard the moaning of walkers outside. It caused us to pull away and stand to our feet. "We'll finish this later," he winked at me and I rolled my eyes. We need to talk later about his punishment. No one is happy that he escaped and neither am I. Yes we kissed and I loved it but there's still the other part of me that can't shake that feeling of him leaving me.

"There's probably over twenty walkers out there, and I can't fight them off alone." I said. He looked at the gun in my holster and the knife in my waistband. Then back into my eyes. Suddenly I caught on to what he's saying and shook my head no. "After what you put me...everyone through I'm not giving you a weapon." I shook my head no.

He groaned and looked out the window then back at me. "Nova it's the only way we're getting out of here safe."

Sighing I handed him my knife and kept my gun. There's no way I'm giving this man a gun after the last few days. He raised an eyebrow at me then went over to the door. "As soon as I open this door there's no turning back." He looked at me. I nodded and watched as he opened the large wooden door.

We fought our way through walkers until one snuck up behind me and got me pinned to a tree. It frightened me so much that I dropped my gun to the ground. I'm weaponless against a blood thirsty walker. My hand grabbed onto its face but ended up pulling the rotten skin off it. Vomit made its way up my throat.

"No!" I hear Negan yell as he rushed over to me and killed the thing. I watched as it dropped to the ground and sighed. He grabbed my face in his hands and examined my body. "Are you okay? Did it bite you?" He asked. I shook my head no and assured him I'm fine.

"Let's just get back to Alexandria." I let out. He picked my gun up off the ground and handed it to me. After thanking him for saving me we left. I could only imagine the reactions when they see Negan walk through those gates.